Fashion-Police.

Beware. this will be my first really bitchy post, it will be superficial, a little shallow and even maybe politically incorrect.





I have a HUGE issue with people who do not dress for their body type, I havent really noticed it with guys, usually just girls and thats when its worse.





I know the shorts are cute on the model, the mannequin and even your best friend, but no one wants to see your cottage cheese thighs, and the cute guy you just tried to flirt with, probably would have loved to go out with you if it wasnt for the gross-ness going on south.





when you have really big boobs, you don't need to accentuate them and make them look even bigger. things like tube tops dont look good, cleavage and tube tops are a no. and everyone is just scared the top is going to fall down, but thats probably your thought process, so nevermind.





if you have a belly, its not the worst thing there are alot of things you can wear that can cover it up or make it less noticeable, dresses are great, flowly tops and tank tops are fine. BUT you cannot get away with wearing a really tight low cut shirt thinking all the attention will go to your boobs. we will notice the belly. and it looks gross.





i know your trying to look cute and dressed up by wearing heels. but by wearing strappy sling back heels, you know JCpenny "dress" shows that your supposed to wear to weddings. those do NOT belong with a pant suit.








and heels do NOT belong with any kind of yoga or sweat style pants or shorts. lounge wear requires lounge shoes, flip flops are stylish for this. Victoria Beckham does it, you can too.








one thing that angers me more than anything else. the muffin top. i know the jeans are super cute, they make your butt look high and rock hard, but your not comfortable with your fat hanging out over your jeans and neither are we. wear pants that fit, please and thank you.








i know you want to be "in" when it comes to fashion. skinny jeans are very popular right now, but the one thing thats great about fashion is that they are usually pretty practical when it comes to naming products. the skinny jeans are for skinny people. i can't wear them and neither should you, the skinny jeans are for no-tummy, no-hips, no-butt kind of people. but don't worry because our ass looks better in regular jeans, so show that off instead.











you don't have to be a fashion monger, police or even stylist. when you look in the mirror you shouldnt want to throw up or think "people wont notice that"so follow these few, harsh, guides and no one will know the difference. hide your insecurities, don't flaunt them.

have a terrific day.

I wish i was...

I wish i was...

1. a coffee drinker, they seem to have the funnest time at coffee shops, they really get gratification out of coffee, its sincere when they say "lets grab a cup of coffee..." coffee dates are real to them.

2. a runner, "those" people cough cough jojo cough cough again get so much graitfication out of running, they stay in great shape and the idea always seems like fun

3. someone who worked in greenpeace or the peace corps - i don't have the oppurtunity to do such things, my life is taking me elsewhere but i have a few friends doing it and it just seems so awesome to get to travel the world and make a difference while doing it, ah heaven.

4. someone who was in a real protest like the WTO riots, i would have loved to be there, as scary as it was.

5. someone who bought bread and pastries from the local bakery on a weekly basis. everytime i go into Macrina i think about this, and i do love speciality breads and pastries but i just never see myself really doing it. its probably the poor college kid thing.

6. someone who made real meals. i honestly dont eat meals i eat random meals that are really just larger snacks, even though i can cook.

7. a biker. i want to be a biker SO bad, haha, but i could never be a biker in seattle its so intense and there are so many hills. the bikers are savages.

8. someone who liked tea, tea always sounds so nice and relaxing but i honestly and literally gag when i drink tea. it cannot touch my throat. sad news.

9. someone who could throw together a cute outfit in 5 seconds. but no, it takes me hours to get a cute outfit, otherwise i just look like a bum, which is normally what my look is. haha.

10. 21. now the reason is for drinking, but not in a "i want to buy booze and get faded all the time" I get so upset when i get asked out for drinks and I can't go; work-related things where i can get to know the bosses and maybe progress my future at the company. but no, i have to admit that i'm too young and I can't haha

100 things I would rather be doing

I am at work right now, and it is SO dead, I am so bored but I'm not allowed to do anything (read, use my Ipod, I'm not even supposed to net-surf but of course I do.) so here I go. 100 things I would rather be doing than sitting at our sales desk.

1. laying in bed doing nothing
2. playing with my dog
3. walking my dog
4. running
5. lifting weights
6. laying in a sauna
7. working out
8. sitting in a lecture class
9. kayaking
10. driving somewhere far
11. standing outside in the cold rain
12. vommitting, at least my mind would be preoccupied.
13. tryign to read German Philosophy
14. drafting a floor plan by hand
15. intense algebra
16. geometry
17. trigonometry
18. trying to learn french
19. trying to learn spanish
20. trying to learn italian
21. trying to learn arabic
22. having a baby
23. arguing politics
24. reading a book about George Bush
25. listening to George Bush try and sound intelligent
26. trying to cut wood - i was never good at it
27. eating raw chicken
28. getting a cavity filled
29. drinking coffee - i hate coffee
30. answer phones in the office
31. cleaning up horse shit
32. waiting in line at the airport
33. having a physical exam
34. getting a bone marrow biopsy
35. cleaning my apartment
36. brushing my teeth
37. riding a horse - i hate horses
38. wearing a poncho
39. getting electricuted
40. doing yard work
41. trying to start a fire with no lighter/matches
42. sitting in Bob Trotters class
43. sitting in the same room as Sarah Palin
44. sitting in the same room as Paris Hilton
45. be listening to Celine Dion
46. telling a dumb tourist how to cross the street
47. arguing with a passenger about a refund
48. at a republican convention
49. hunting Osama
50. at a funeral
51. stuck in an elevator - actually this is a dream of mine
52. in an anatomy class learning about organs
53. cleaning toilets
54. talking with ghetto ebonics people - they drive me crazy
55. sleeping
56. mowing the white house lawn
57. watching a horrible movie
58. watching full house
59. watching CSI
60. watching FOX news
61. going on a tour of seattle
62. in a McDonalds playpen
63. in a pigpen full of pig poop
64. covered in bird poop
65. swimming in the dirty cold freezing ocean
66. be playing with an umbrella
67. cleaning the windows of the columbia tower
68. cleaning all the cars in my garage
69. pan handling on the street
70. shaving my legs
71. listening to barry manilow
72. watching barry manilow live
73. watching neil diamond live
74. watching a spike lee movie
75. listening to gangsters
76. be reading Hilary Clintons biography
77. be reading Bill Clintons biography
78. be reading John McCains Biography
79. be reading the dictionary
80. sorting trash
81. picking up dog poo
82. stepping in dog poo
83. playing frisbee - i hate frisbee
84. working in a restaurant
85. playing badmittion
86. playing soccer
87. playing hockey
88. watching soccer
89. watching hockey
90. watching football
91. playing football
92. blowing up balloons
93. making water balloons - i cant tie them
94. playing dodgeball
95. trying to change my tires on my car
96. change all the lightbulbs in this hotel
97. be teaching middle schoolers - anything
98. be in the middle of somewhere where kids are screaming
99. laundry
100. putting away clothes
101. putting away dishes

where did all the good people go?

I don't know what exactly snapped in me, but something did and I am much more aware of people being nice, and i have to say, it completely makes my day. sometimes i worry that maybe I seem like i'm pissed or bitchy and i feel bad when they apologize and say something nice cause i always wonder why, which is silly to think that nice-ness has an alliterative motive.

for instance, i was at the grocery store the other day and i let this guy go in front of me because he only had one thing, a bottle of cooking wine. apparently it was on sale and the cashier was saying it wasnt the right kind of item that was on sale, the customer wasnt neccesarily rude about it but he was basically not paying the full price, he wanted the sale price, and it was taking awhile so im thinking in my head "geez guy, just pay the freaking full price its not that big of a deal, its just one bottle of safeway select cooking wine" lol

well when it all got solved, he turned to me and said "i'm sorry this held you up." and when i left the teller and the bag girl all were apologizing for the wait, but i have to say. i was pissed at the guy before, but once he said sorry for holding me up, it completely made my day, and for the teller and the bag girl to say something as well.

at work i've been noticing a lot of people sincerely telling me to have a good day or actually asking how my day was, or a passenger just being very grateful and it makes my entire day!

but i wonder, is it weird that nice-ness has such an impact, am i more aware of it now and more grateful or did something snap in the earth and people really did suddenly get nicer? maybe i look sad, and they feel bad for me or something? i hope not. but again, there shouldnt be a motive for nice-ness and it shouldnt seem so weird when people are nice.

but thats my new thing, apperciating when someone is nice and I, myself be a lot nicer. i want to make someones day. i want to save someones life if it comes down to that. you never know when you ruin someones day and you never know when you save it.

it drives me crazy that two people can be eating in a restaurant and they both get water spilled on them, the one person is perfectly okay, he makes sure the waitress is okay, "no worries" is his constant response. the other person screams at the waitress, demands a comp meal, is a total asshole; and he gets a free dessert and probably his whole dinner free.

we as a society reward bad behavior, when in life does that honestly happen? when we were kids when we yelled at our parents or said a swear word did we get a cupcake? no! we got sent to our rooms maybe with a bar of soap to chew on. but the minute you grow up thats completely reversed, and its completely wrong.

My New Month Resolution

who said it had to be a new year's resolution?

1.) read more often, books are an intelligent escape from the reality that you might currently fear or be bored and tired of.

2.) follow everything in Joshs' obit, don't get mad when people cut you off in traffic and one of the things i thought about when i first went back to work is that i need to be nice to everyone because a stranger doesn't know whats going on underneath and although it might be completely valid, they don't know that and you might have just ruined their day.

3.) lend a helping hand more often, there are too many times we might press the "door close" button on the elevator because we don't feel like talkig to someone or we watch the old lady struggle to open the door.

4.) eat out less and cook more often. i used to be SO into cooking, getting recipes and making kind of intense meals, homemade spanish rice and enchiladas, Manicotti, wolfgang punk shrimp tempura pasta and i dont know if its cause i eat alone and im cooking for one or if i'm just a lot more busy (which is VERY true) but i should make a stronger effort.

5.) walk oliver more, he deserves it because he is an amazing dog and his only bad habits or qualities come from me, but, and only real dog lovers can understand this, but a dog, and one like oliver really can change your world. Oliver has a genuine heart and I love him as if he was my son.

6.) clean more often, and keep the apartment clean more often. its just better fung shui

7.) save more money. I make $1600/mo I really shouldn't be broke and I really shouldn't be so concerned about where I'm going to be living when my lease is up. I don't spend my money on silly things I spend it on a lot of little things that adds up, usually food. sadly enough.

8.) spend more time outside, Kayak more often, however this is hugely contributed into how much time i have, which is nothing. i was really stressed the other day, actually i've been really stressed ever since Aug 20th with homework piling up due to some validate circumstances and i thought "i should go kayaking it would relax me" which is true but the fact is, is that i would just be thinking the whole time how i was loosing time to work on homework and it would just stress me out more.

9.) go home more often, this has already taken into effect, but I really don't enjoy my hometown so i didnt always go home that often at all but honestly, i love my family and its very important to create more and more memories with them, so that if something ever happened they can seem like they live longer in my mind.

10. make art daily. don't think about the idea, actually make art daily. it is such a good release on everything.

Are You A White Liberal?

in my cultural theory class we were defining a "White Liberal" this is the list my class came up with, I have now defined myself as a white liberal but the list makes me laugh, I'm not sure how many you need to qualify for to be classified as a white liberal but the ones in bold are what I view as true for myself.

1. white
2. has a dog
3. political (democratic or republican or independent)
4. tech savvy (has the best technology out there; ie: Iphone, BluRay etc.) however i don't have the best technology out there, I can't afford it.
5. Mac User if i could afford one, i would own one, i love them.
6. Sustainable/environmental
7. Likes recycling
8. probably has a composite
9. drives a hybrid card, probably a Prius if i could afford one, i would own one.
10. bikes everywhere
11. Vegan or Vegetarian
12. likes to kayak
13. has the best TV or is Anti-Tv
14. likes to be healthy (exercise or eating) i like being healthy, doesnt mean i always am
15. listens to NPR
16. organic or local clothes
17. fresh food (no processed food, usually gets food from the local market)
18. no franchises (grocery store, restaurant or even clothing)
19. likes to be barefoot or shoes with open toes (flip flops and sandals)
20. likes being outside i like being inside too though
21. usually campaigns for things; causes, campaigns etc
22. in a committed relationship
23. has a "partner" because they don't believe in marriage
24. Agnostic or Atheist
25. likes Bill Maher
26. Reads the local paper daily
27. read all the books on NY top 100 list
28. likes Feung Shui
29. claims to be Buddhist or follows certain aspects thats one of the only religions i could seriously consider being apart of.
30. "is always right" and will argue with you if you don't have the same views
31. they make smart investments
32. doesn't gamble
33. no kids
34. tree hugger
35. Wino
36. Beer-o (my classes way of saying beer enthusiast's)
37. sophisticated palette
38. posh home
39. likes hiking


so, are you a white liberal?

my werid quirks.

1. i cannot shower with the shower curtain closed, i cant even pee with it closed, pay attention to the next time i'm over at your place if i've gone to the bathroom, chances are I opened your shower curtain and forgot to close it. BUT in my apartment i have a see through shower curtain so i dont have this problem.


2. i almost never lock my front door, i have no idea why, i just dont do it. please dont tell anyone.


3. i love making lists, i will make lists when im bored of things i need to get, buy, want, do and if im going somewhere i make a list of everything i need to bring.



4. i hate other peoples mess, it stresses me out but i will let my own apartment get so messy theres no place for anyone to sit.



5. i NEVER shut my drapes and i get really upset when someone goes to shut my drapes, ive yelled at someone about it before.



6. when i do my laundry, i hate folding clothes and if i need to clean quickly, i put my clean clothes in my washer and dryer and they usually stay in there until i need to do another load.



7. i recycle EVERYTHING. i wash my yogurt cups and i always recycle ANYTHING glass..



8. i name inanimate objects, i have a triangle ruler named jeffery, a cermaic pig named henry bacon a printer named frank, it just seems so much nicer to call them by a name.



9. if i'm with people with accents, especially my scottish cousins i will pick up the accent really thick (and really well apparently) but i dont notice it BUT ask me to do a fake accent, i cant.



10. i always like my feet bare, flip flops are fine but heels or flats i will always take them off at any chance i get, i take them off at work and walk around bare foot, i know this drives Jo crazy but my toes need to be FREE! haha

Am I Blessed or Unfortunate?

Am I blessed or unfortunate to grow up in the era I have? I feel that at heart and deep in my soul I am a 60’s baby, totally hippie and all about the rock and roll. I get pissed because today’s rock and roll is nothing of the same, even the concerts aren’t the same. You don’t experience music the same anymore and it’s because the music isn’t the same. But am I blessed? I mean I didn’t know everyone rolling stones song growing up so I discover them slowly as I do get older; in restaurants, iTunes, friends, parents etc. I just recently discovered Rolling Stones – Beast of Burden and I wonder “how did I ever live without this song?” but its spectacular when I find a new song, instead of having the whole album in front of me or the radio playing it out so I end up hating it, I have new favorite and there is endless amount of new favorites for me to find for years to come.

But the problem that this creates is that I find myself attracted to the older generations, okay not the 70’s generation but definitely generations 10 years older than me. And I meet a guy and I flirt and he flirts and then I think “oh no, he probably doesn’t know I’m 20, he’s 30. Is that okay? Is it okay not to tell him?” I mean a lot of time in society flirting is construed as politeness and there is the breed of people called the “natural flirt” which I certainly am, im sure I’ve flirted with some 80 year old men unconsciously so I don’t want to just say “hey by the way I’m 20 years old and now you’re a pervert because you’ve been flirting with a child.” LOL I mean how awkward! It’s not like I’m dating these guys, but seriously.

I think I was officially born as a 60’s baby and just hung out in my momma’s womb for 30 years or so, because besides the new technology I would have been rocking in the 1960’s. My birthdate is not 1989. Thank goodness I made the 80’s I would die if I wear a 90’s baby.

The new trend that makes me feel old.

There is a new trend out there in the technological world, that new trend is FML. if you are unfamilar it stands for "fuck my life" i guess you could replace the F for many things like "freak, fudge, fitters" but in this case I don't think this works.

this new trend has been in a frenzy, I am so annoyed with it. it drives me bonkers, yes i just said Bonkers, I used it delibertly to pretend like I am an old lady annoyed with the kids and their new fangled slang. But I really am. everyone's facebook status has FML in it AND it is always stupid things. let me re-post to you what some of my facebook friends status that include FML are.

"round 2 FML... lol" this is in response to someone who drank a lot last night and is drinking again tonight.

"cant believe my DEBIT card got eaten by the ATM just because i didnt want to grab it back that very second! FML! too bad the banks aren't open downtown on the weekends!"

"Phone's dead. FML"

now in some cases, like your debit card getting eaten by the ATM that is a situation that sucks. BUT "fml" is hardly approrpiate when you think in the litterally terms, FML would translate too something in the equivalent of "my life is over, i cannot go any futher." so when you think about it "omg im drinking again" FML is hardly the appropriate response.

AND i mean really, when we have a war going on oversees, we have soliders fighting for us, people are out there dying from cancer and suffering from paniful illnesses, people are living on the streets, loosing all their money... "my phone is dead, FML" don't you feel a little...stupid.

Honest Love Letter Part Two

I have many bruises because I'm clumsy
I have never been in love, but I completely believe in it
My hair curls awkwardly, and my calves are really wide
I bite my nails like they are candy
and I shuffle a deck of cards "wrong"
however, I succeed in shuffling and one else can shuffle like me
I laugh at anything and everything
and I laugh in my own way
I idolize Audrey Hepburn more and more each day
as I respect Barack Obama more and more each day
I believe in giving back, to anything you deeply believe in
I'm a very passionate person
and I feel deeply for the things I care about
I put everything I have into things and people I care about
and you may not know it, but you possibly broke my heart once
I fall for guys hard and I fall for guys fast
and things almost always mean so much more to me, than they did to you
I hate popcorn
I love oranges, good ones anyways
I have opinions and they are strong
if you have a great smile, I'm yours
for that matter if you also play guitar, I'll marry you.
I love diet coke and I could possibly risk my life for not giving it up
I value personal time
I value time with friends and family
I hate scary movies
my imagination makes them far too real
I'm continually scared, not metaphorically, literally just scared.
I'm occasionally clique
and sometimes I'm sarcastic
but often very spontaneous
probably because I'm always very impatient
I am many many things
and this is only the beginning

Things I miss about the suburbs

1. the inability to walk all over town, driving even to run over to the store, the suburbs are saving our planet one gas tank at a time.

2. trees. i miss trees, the big tree's that fall on top of your cars and totalling them, that drip sap all over your nicely cleaned and waxed car and leaves pine needles all over the driveway and streets

3. big backyards, i wish i could mow a big lawn every week - or pay a mexican to do it. i can't believe i'm missing out on that, i really hate going over to the sculpture park that is maintained and groomed by some random person that i don't have to pay and enjoy a beautiful view every night and day.

4. political signs, the city does not have mountains of picketing signs "vote for mike carrell" i miss those mr-yuck-colored-green signs.

5. stop signs, we really don't have enough stop signs in the city.

6. backroads. i'm so sick of walking or driving somewhere in the city and taking the freeway or viaduct and letting it only take me 10 minutes, whatever happened to suburban backroads so you could take a whole hour to go see a friend.

7. being creeped out walking to my car at night, thinking someone is hiding in the bush or jumped into your car while you ran inside the house.

8. the non-existence of street lights, the city really has too many street lights, people can't hide in the shadows of the city and well thats just not fun.

9. bugs. i miss bugs. ants and rodents in my house, mosquitos and bees somehow trapped inside your house. i mean if a girl can't make friends with a mouse in her own house anymore, what is happening to this world?

10. the possibility that someone could steal your mail or your newspaper. what is with the city locking up your mail, do we not trust anyone anymore? if my drunk next door neighbour wants to steal my newspaper, i want her to have that opportunity.


geez, why on earth do I live in the city?

Rant for Obama

I am so inspired right now; I don’t even know how to explain it. I started getting involved with the Obama campaign again when my friend became a community organizer. It feels like when we first started working on the campaign so many years ago (because yes, I was one of those weirdo’s working on a presidential campaign before he even said that he would run.) but I have really never felt so much confidence in someone I don’t even know. I trust Obama to the core of every decision he makes, and this isn’t based on his voting record or his speeches, it’s based on who I believe he is as a person, (which okay I guess we realize who that person is by voting records and speeches) but I literally trust this man, and I would put my life in his hands, and I don’t care if I have to pay a few extra taxes so that our country, our economy, my future and yours, could maybe be a little better.

So I started getting back into the “campaign, volunteer” mode. And since I’m going on “summer break” from 3 weeks I’m kicking into high gear with malarianomore.org and working on the lupus campaign as well.

But the one thing I had to say, is a message to those “Obama haters” which I childishly call you “ignorant” You people that stand on the street corners of Seattle (yes the ones I’ve cursed out and actually yelled at someone on why they were ignorant.) who claim that Obama is worse than Hitler because of HMO’s, you people that complain about taxes and helping others. You people sigh what can I even say? You people, make people like me, very easy-going, hard to really piss off to the point that I will really show it, scream at you on a street corner. You people, need to get educated. :)

I have a lot of negative feelings towards president bush, and they were all for good reasons, yes granted the man is apparently smart, he did graduate from ivy league schools, your rich father can only get you in the school it takes your own personal brains to get you to graduate. But the problem with Bush, with me anyways, was his morals. He didn’t respect anything that wasn’t “his norm” he didn’t respect homosexuals, atheists or non-Christians, democrats and liberals. He didn’t respect the poor and he didn’t try to help them. Now we’ve definitely had worse presidents in our lifetime, Nixon clearly comes to mind. But seriously? Where was the line drawn?

Yes no taxes sound wonderful – but look what that did to us! Look at our country and our economy – yes yes bush didn’t put us there we were on the path, but here Obama is, only 6 months into office, and he is already coming up with plans to clean this up – why didn’t bush ever try? Because he wanted everyone to coast buy and go luxurious and although we all loved those nice stimulus checks, what did that do for the economy? Nothing. Just like they projected.
It’s like tough love for your children, and the thing that kills me is the only peoples whose taxes went up were all these people that could afford it! So why were you bitching? Why are you so selfish with your money? Is that why you have money? you never give to charity or help others.
I’m not talking about giving money to a bum; I’m talking about doing something productive and selfless with your money. I was 18 years old working on the campaign for Obama, I had barely any money but I donated almost every 3 months. Small amounts at time but that’s what his campaign was raised upon.

I just don’t understand how you people say what you think and think its okay. I’m not talking about republicans; I’m talking about Obama haters. Those people that would make me: the hippie “love not war” girl. Want to sock you in the face for being so ignorantly stupid.
Guantanamo, really? You think it’s cool that we keep open a base that’s not in the US so that we can legally torture people? We are the most powerful country and that makes us a role model, if we torture their people, they are going to torture ours. And even if that doesn’t change anything. Do you really want to stoop down to the level of these terrorist? When did we become terrorist?
And stem cell research? Why don’t you study it a bit and realize it is not all about cloning and it is SO important in the medical field. Every single person in the world knows someone who had to battle with a cancer (of any kind) an autoimmune disease they knew nothing about, tumors, ANYTHING that posed a risk on their lives. Stem cell research can get us closer to answers, can get us closer to cures, and you ignorant people think it has something to do with cloning people for the future and making women give abortions? (I know a TON on this subject, email me and I’ll let you know more.)

For the most part – I can respect others opinions of Obama not being their favorite person in the world, and if you can give me a valid reason on why you don’t care for him, fine. That’s your opinion, I obviously won’t agree. But do not tell me some bullshit about medical being worse or something about his race OR something to do with taxes.

He knows what he is doing. We are already on a better track and if you haven’t realized that, turn off fox news.
=]

Jo Benedetti, Age 94

Obituary for my fabulous Aunt Jo.

She had blonde straight hair
She loved to read
But she hated the library
She preferred bookstores
She was opinionated, stubborn and passionate
She was thoughtful, caring, and passionate
She ran everyday
Even in the snow and ice
Her family thought she was crazy
She loved her red Honda
She loved her Ipod, American Idol and Lost
She would buy new books even though she had 20 others to read
She was a democrat in her soul
And had politics running through her veins
Ignorant people pissed her off
And intelligent people inspired her
She fought for what she believed in
She loved to stay home and not attend a party
She loved wine
She had a slight OCD for cleanliness
She would do anything for you if she loved you
She did a lot for her community
And she supported campaigns & organizations
She liked slow music because she appreciated lyrics
She had a select group of people in her life
And hopefully you were one of them

Louis in Love.

So sometimes when I have a lot on my mind I write and if im in a public space and I have an idea for a blog I jot down notes and I remember be really inspired about love and dating when I was watching this movie about Louis Kahn (great American architect) and I only just now found the notes I made so I thought I’d finally write about it.

Louis Kahn was this amazing architect, but he has a flaw of having multiple families – three to be exact. The movie I was watching was actually his son who goes on this “discovery” to find out who his father really was. He meets with the other women, people he worked with and visits almost every building ever built. It’s a very cool documentary. It inspired me in more ways than one.

But anyways I got this idea about “the single person” and love itself. What do you do if you found your great love and it doesn’t love you back? What if you spent your life looking for someone and something that involved a deep connection the ultimate love affair with yourself and another person, what do you do when your only chance is to be with them, or nothing else?

Do you settle for less? What if you couldn’t settle, what if nothing could compare to what you already had (or thought you had) in life.

These “other women” of Louis Kahn, there were so enamored with Louis Kahn, years later being left by him to be a single mother and raise children on their own, they still love and dream and long for Louis. They don’t have any negative emotions towards him, they believed their love was true and the other women didn’t matter to them. And it just baffled me.

Do you give up freedom and a chance for all that you deserve for a man you love? Do you pass on any other opportunity just for the slight chance of hope that you could be with the “one” you have been waiting for? Maybe its like a boxing match, you keep getting back up and you wont leave the ring or give up without your fight.

I’m personally the type who doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me and I wouldn’t waste so much energy on something that didn’t give me back so much energy. I would be furious about these other women, and although I can understand their relentlessness to give up and move on, but really, are they happy longing for a man they can never have. (especially after he died and 40 years later the women were still single longing for him still.)

But this whole situation gets me thinking about “the single person” there are two types of people in this world, those that are constantly in relationships even with people that make no sense just because they cant be alone, and those that refuse to settle for anything less than they think they deserve (or refuse to settle for someone who doesn’t make them happy.) I believe the single person is single by choice because they don’t want to settle. I always think its bullshit when people say that the single person is single by choice because that’s what they choose – well yeah they choose to not be with just anyone but the single person usually doesn’t want to be single. they just know what they want and they know what they think they deserve.

But when you settle, what are you doing? What are you missing? What are you gaining? I would imagine if you are with someone to “pass the time” you are missing out on anything and everything and your only gaining maybe a little less of self loathe or something. Your definitely not going to meet someone else or someone new while your with another person.

But “I’m young, who said I knew shit about love?”

“I’m an observer, I watch and I absorb and the people in my life are a great example of love” Louis Kahn.

Oliver

My little Oliver. where to even start. well we will start with the Basics he is now 9 weeks old. (born on a Sunday) he is a Llhaso Apso (pure-breed) he is a boy. I got the name Oliver from a baby name website after considering "Stewart" for Jon Stewart.

he is the cutest little puppy and does all the little puppy things that they only learn with time, like about running into doors and windows, when you say "NO" it doesnt mean run over and kiss my face. and if you tug and play with the blinds chord, the blinds will come down on your head. BUT these superficial puppy traits are adorable, like how he will litterally jump from 2 feet away to jump on me and start kissing me. He is quite small and he doesnt exactly know how to get on and off the bed, sometimes he jumps off and just rolls and sometimes getting on the bed he gets stuck and cant make it all the way up, but he hasnt learned to bark yet so he just whines a little bit and looks at me with puppy dog eyes that say "help me." he can spend HOURS chewing on something stupid like a waterbottle cap (dont worry hes not big enough for the bottle cap to be too small.)

he chews his tail, he rolls on his back and arches sideways and chews his tail. it is ADORABLE

he chews on my hair -- thats not so adorable.

when i take a bath or a shower, i HAVE to bring him in the bathroom with me or he flips out, BUT because of this he panic-ly trys to climb up the side of the baththub and really seriously freaks out so he insists on being in the shower with me, he just roams around the shower floor trying to catch shower droplets happily.

i am a proud mother and i devote one hour a day to taking him to the sculpture park to lay out, play with him let him see other dogs and other people. and in return, he loves me oh so much.

he wont go out on my balcony i dont know if its because my railing is glass and he thinks he is going to fall off, but he refuses.

he chews waterbottles, i let him, they entertain him and he attacks them as they slide away from his "grip"

he is offically the love of my life.

Inspirational Ranting at Full Speed.

so thats my grandpa on the left, isnt he cute? haha joking, half of you probably know i'm lying cause thats the great Philip Johnson we will get to him later.

I feel completely inspired today so I will let my blog be inspired by my fabulous Aunt Joo (pronoucned Jew)

what im obsessed with listening to: "Bartender Song" By Rehab. I know now all the words.

last purchase on Itunes: tonight i just bought a lot of the new Ray Lamontage and Ingrid Michaelson

What i'm reading: this book about audrey hepburn called "what would audrey do?" i love it, its really good. i'm also reading this great book about Philip Johnson its essentially a gigantic interview with him.

what im drinking: Diet Coke of course, i'm risking staying awake all night by drinking caffeine this late but I figure i'll just take a nyquil anyways, haha. no worries, i'm not a druggie I promise.

what im working on: a project on Philip Johnson which includes a full scale model of his glass house made out of real glass with stained glass techniques. a project taking Seattle's Denny Park and turning it into an ADA park called "Divercity Park" (that one is to detailed to describe in a couple sentences) but it will as well have a real architectural model. i'm working on a zen retreat that has two rooms, one for waking up in the morning and the second for relaxing at night time. my last project is more like a research project on human comfort and how we as humans truly play into our environments as we deal with heat, color, vision and everything. luckily 3/5 of these projects are group projects.

word of the day. INSPIRATION. i realized today I am very heavily influenced, i dont know if that makes me gullible (because i am entirely) and i dont knwo if there is another word for it and i dont know if its a bad thing but I AM very heavily influenced, but i like it. it gets me going and gets me excited. (if you knew me during the presidential campaign, you know exactly what i'm talking about...)

sometimes its a periodical infatuation which I think my Philip Johnson infatuation is right now, I've had the same infatuation with Andy Warhol, Richard Nixon, Hunter S Thompson. these people intrigue me and for a time period i'm obsessed, after that it becomes a little more causal, as it does with any relationship in life. but if i can watch a movie or documentary or a read a book about these people, i will, because they fascinate me. i dont know that everyone knows this about me, i love to just research and read about certain people, NOT tabloid kind of stuff and almost everyone i'm infatuated with, is dead, its something about being able to look at a persons life as a whole, but i love it, its a small quirky passion of mine. even right now i feel that my energy level is just sky high and i will have to read through this blog like 20 times just to make sure it makes sense

i have two heroes, idols, main lifelong inspirations in life and thats Audrey Hepburn and Barack Obama, nothing about them will ever cease to amaze me I will never stop reading about Audrey or Barack and I know the world is a better place today because they once graced our planet.

there is something inside myself, i've just realized this at this very moment. i dont know the word for it, maybe you will. when I love something, i LOVE it, I have a life long passion for it. I've known and had this passion for interior design since 7th grade and its stuck ever since, i fell in love with Audrey Hepburn years and years ago and I havent stopped being infatuated, the same with Barack Obama and the city of Seattle, when i really love something I really dont "move on" from it. its not something like tradition or getting "stuck in a rut" because thats really not the issue at all. The other thing about me, and i'm getting much better about it, but its kind of like if its something that doesnt work for me, then i'm done with it. I used to not really put up with people I didnt like, and I didnt do things I didnt want to do, as I get older I realize thats stupid and makes me look like a bitch so I suck it up when I have to. (but of course, if there is an appropriate way of getting around something that you don't have to do, or getting around/away from dealing with someone you don't want to, isnt it smart to take that advantage? I sure think so.)

what is the word for that type of person? dedicated? because i really can be, when its something worth being dedicated to anyways...

I have no idea if this blog makes ANY sense at all. so enjoy :) i'll leave you with another great work of Philip Johnson;

Life, Work, and Happiness.

there is a very complicated thing in our culture of life, and it is called work. originally work was for living, you worked to earn money so that you could live the lifestyle that you wanted to live, back in the days people grew crops and did farm work (or whatever they did) so that they could eat and sell their produce and buy neccesitys like clothes and groceries, now we have become a very superficial society and we need things like Iphones and flatscreen TVs and laptops and etc, and we work (or someone works for us) so that we can live these lifestyles of glamour.

but what do you do, when you work to live and you stop living? your work has consumed you so much that you dont have time to go out and you dont have time for your friends and family? you work all day, you come home exhausted and you do have time to hangout with friends, eat some dinner, kick back with a glass of wine, but you would rather just lay in bed, so thats what you do.

i luckily have amazing friends and not only did they point this out to me but they refused to let me sit at home, but if it wasnt for my friends i would have totally fallen into that hole and i would be working and working and studying and working...for nothing.

why work and kill your ass if your doing it for nothing? even if your job is something full of passion and love and something you love to do, well dont you need someone around you to share that with? dont you need an outlet outside of work besides sleeping and eating?

you work to live, so just make sure that you're living.

you don't have to give up you're prioties and you don't even need to rearrange them, and you may be tired every once in a while, but there isnt a time in youre life when your going to regret the fact that you have strong enough work ethic to work as hard as you did and still maintain your lifestyle and your definitley not going to regret all the memories you make and the laughs you shared.

(especially at my age, my college years are the last years i get to still be naive and still get to be childish, why would I give that time up early to work? i have my whole life to work.)

is there any room left to be great?

It always fascinating to me to research any famous person, to watch a movie or a documentary on how one specific person did so much to change the future of how we lived. I remember in “Factory Girl” Andy Warhol was asking Edie if she thought people would remember them and if they would talk about them, if they talked about them what would they say and she just responded “people are gonna talk about how you changed the world”

And today in my History of Design class watching this really inspiring video on the great and amazing Mies Van Der Rohe (for those non-designers/architects, he was the most imaginative architect of the 20th and even 21st century, his work is amazing) and I started thinking, im sure like everyone has thought before “I wonder if one day students will be sitting in a classroom studying my work? Will I ever be in history books?”

But then I started thinking, are we at a time period where it’s almost impossible to stand out? Years ago these people stood out because they were the “first” the first to use steel and concrete and glass, and the first to use them in such ways and the first people to use bended plywood like Ray and Charles Eames. But are we at a time period where there are no “firsts” left, did all the greats like Mies Van Der Rohe and Frank Lloyd Wright and Le Corbusier,

Did all these people already do what can be done? I mean you have great architects now like Frank Gehry who did the EMP, but even Gehry isn’t groundbreaking famous, he’s not in any history books we only talk about him because he did this really cool design in Seattle and we live in Seattle.

Can anyone compare to these past marvels when nowadays you’re amongst SO many great and other talented designers? They say architecture is killed by the book, and the book is killed by the internet. Which means they’re saying architecture is to available, anyone can read a book and study it, and now even the book is killed and you can just Google whatever you want and seem just as smart as someone who studied for years and has a degree.
But is it really fair to compare and aspire to be these greats when maybe everything is already done? Maybe it was easier for them they weren’t so much competing and now we feed so much off one another, we feed off magazines and other designers and past designers, is our work…really our work? I mean back then when Mies Van Der Rohe was using Steel and Glass and making these amazing glass skyscrapers that was his own original thought, but are there any original thoughts left? Or is it all now a collaboration of other things?

The one thing about design is that your job and your career and even your schoolwork towards your degree isn’t about money, if it is you should get out, because design is art and art can never be about money or something so superficial, it needs to be about constant inspiration of greatness, it’s not about being better than others and being grandiose, it’s about making current life so amazingly natural, its noticed. Design is a problem waiting to be solved, and we will continue to solve them, but I think they’re just may not be room left for spectacular-famous-groundbreaking-will-study-for-years-to-come designers.

the GREAT list, the bucket list.

1. go to every continenet. i want to go all over europe, i want to help around in africa, i want to visit my cousins in australia and i want to go to brazil, japan and i guess russia could be cool, haha.

2. have a great love. my married friend was talking the other day about how amazed she is that her and her husband still have the same connection as when they were first married. she got a text from him and got a big smile on her face and she gets butterflies, and she was talking about how she never thought it was possible to love someone else more than yourself. and i would feel that my life was incomplete if i died without every expeirencing that.

3. meet Barack Obama, i dont care when but he really is an inspiration to me and i just want to shake his hand. partly just so i can say that i did but also just to know inside, that i did meet him would be amazing.

4. i would love to meet audrey hepburn because she really is amazing to me and she still inspires me daily, but i guess that will have to be in the afterlife. hopefully we will be in the same afterlife :)

5. i mentioned this a little bit, but i would love to go and work/volunteer in Africa, i think it would be so life changing and so life inspiring that life shouldnt go without such an experience.

6. i want to sit ontop of the egyptian pyramids at sunset, like they did in "bucket list"

7. be succesful. but thats more like a goal in life.

8. change someones life.

9. inspire someone.

10. save a life.

11. i love the idea of bungee jumping or sky diving, i dont know that i could go through with sky diving but bungee jumping i would love to do.

12. have an international affair, its a move infatuation to make it seem so glamorous but i think it would be thrilling. i think all things are worth any amount of pain if they are worth twice the amount of laughter, smiles, good times and good memories.



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this will be a list in progress, a growing list. till later.

This is why i voted for Barack Obama

yesterday was a really good day, full of excitement and laughter never a dull moment but seeing this particular headline made my whole day so much better. "Obama to reverse bush stem cell policy"

we all have certain passions in politics, why we even bother to vote, not everything on the democratic platform entices me and at the democratic convention, although i like the spirit and the energy of being there, deciding everything to go on the platform gets really boring but one of the big things i was always so passionate about was stem cell research, and I'm so glad that Obama knows the importance, that his supporters are learning the importance, and that now, theres going to be more stem cell research.

stem cell research has so much negative attention around it, and it has soooo many misconceptions it starts to really upset me, especially when people think stem cell research is to start cloning people. when people think that, i don't even bother explaining everything to them because, as bad as it sounds, i believe their intelligence is lower than butter, (the same with people who sit around and say ish about Obama and his race and being Muslim and so forth) these are people who obviously don't read they listen to rumor mills and don't listen to the whole story and they obviously don't know politics.

but stem cell research seems like such a milestone of accomplishment. stem cell research can help us learn and achieve new cures for diseases and sicknesses that we never thought could be possible. we can find answers to diseases like Lupus and find proper treatment against cancer.

i understand the argument that people have against stem cell research, because if they are taking embryoic stem cells then that means the embryo has to be destroyed so its similar to abortion and its the same argument that you are killing a human life and so on but the main argument against those people is that scientists and government are not making people "donate" their embryos against their will, they're not abducting them, these women have decided this and if the embryo is going to be destroyed anyways then why not put it to wonderful work?

the other thing is that embryoic is not the only way to obtain stem cells for research and one way that i would the most supportive of would be donating bone marrow, the one thing is that there are more stem cells in embryo cells, obtained from the fetus and not as many from adult stem cells (some scientist and arguments even say that adult stem cells aren't worth the effort) but i've had a bone marrow biopsy its horrrrrrribbbleeeeeee, i have never experienced pain like that before (you don't get knocked out, your wide awake for it, they num the area but that's it) so the fact that i know the pain and im still suggesting it shows how important i think research is, i would actually seriously consider donating my stem cells through bone marrow if I could and if it would help.

i'm huge on medical research, for such obvious reasons, and i would love to do more to advance research but i'm more about donating blood and such for research but i'm not okay with taking test drugs that could harm me.

basically i'm not against abortion so this decision is 20 times easier for me to make but even if i was against abortion, lets put it towards something great and lets find cures for so many things we have no answers to! lupus hasn't had a new drug in over 50 years and none of the medication is for Lupus its anti-malaria and cancer treatments, and there are no answers to anything how will we ever get a cure?