Sunday, September 20, 2009

where did all the good people go?

I don't know what exactly snapped in me, but something did and I am much more aware of people being nice, and i have to say, it completely makes my day. sometimes i worry that maybe I seem like i'm pissed or bitchy and i feel bad when they apologize and say something nice cause i always wonder why, which is silly to think that nice-ness has an alliterative motive.

for instance, i was at the grocery store the other day and i let this guy go in front of me because he only had one thing, a bottle of cooking wine. apparently it was on sale and the cashier was saying it wasnt the right kind of item that was on sale, the customer wasnt neccesarily rude about it but he was basically not paying the full price, he wanted the sale price, and it was taking awhile so im thinking in my head "geez guy, just pay the freaking full price its not that big of a deal, its just one bottle of safeway select cooking wine" lol

well when it all got solved, he turned to me and said "i'm sorry this held you up." and when i left the teller and the bag girl all were apologizing for the wait, but i have to say. i was pissed at the guy before, but once he said sorry for holding me up, it completely made my day, and for the teller and the bag girl to say something as well.

at work i've been noticing a lot of people sincerely telling me to have a good day or actually asking how my day was, or a passenger just being very grateful and it makes my entire day!

but i wonder, is it weird that nice-ness has such an impact, am i more aware of it now and more grateful or did something snap in the earth and people really did suddenly get nicer? maybe i look sad, and they feel bad for me or something? i hope not. but again, there shouldnt be a motive for nice-ness and it shouldnt seem so weird when people are nice.

but thats my new thing, apperciating when someone is nice and I, myself be a lot nicer. i want to make someones day. i want to save someones life if it comes down to that. you never know when you ruin someones day and you never know when you save it.

it drives me crazy that two people can be eating in a restaurant and they both get water spilled on them, the one person is perfectly okay, he makes sure the waitress is okay, "no worries" is his constant response. the other person screams at the waitress, demands a comp meal, is a total asshole; and he gets a free dessert and probably his whole dinner free.

we as a society reward bad behavior, when in life does that honestly happen? when we were kids when we yelled at our parents or said a swear word did we get a cupcake? no! we got sent to our rooms maybe with a bar of soap to chew on. but the minute you grow up thats completely reversed, and its completely wrong.


  1. Kylee, i love how your mind works! Another great post. I swear girl, you should write a book, a self help for young adults.

    "but again, there shouldnt be a motive for nice-ness and it shouldnt seem so weird when people are nice."

    I know what you mean by this. It does at times seem weird and it shouldn't.

    P.S. The guy should NOT be buying cooking wine in the first place. No good cook uses 'cooking' wine. LOL

  2. haha well i really dont think he was a real cook, he had a little red neck flare to him lol

    but its so totally true! when in life before the age that we could bitch at a waitress did we ever get rewarded for being an asshole!?

  3. I had the same "whuh?" to the cooking wine. I like to wonder about people and what they're going to do with the stuff they buy, or where they're driving to at odd hours, stuff like that. And I totally agree about niceness. The difference between that and being mean can dramatically shift how someone's day goes. Imagine how huge the impact is on a global level?

  4. In the union office where i work if you are really REALLY bad, the district will buy out your contract in December where you are released from your job and don't have to work anymore but are paid until the end of the school year in June. But before anyone blames the union, you have to blame the district administrators for hiring some teachers that i can tell within 5 minutes of meeting them are crazy.

  5. i'm sure thats still super hard. i hate unions. our drivers are in a union & all the longshore are in unions.

    there was actually a guy who went to jail for raping a girl, was released from jail - two days after being released he was on the pier and he was kicked off of pier 66 for groping a girl and was on 91 -- and he still wasnt fired?!! ridiculous.

  6. Your post gives me hope, K.

    You ask when in our formative years do we get rewarded for bad behavior -- the answer is sadly simple: we got attention. And for some folks, negative attention is better than being ignored. I see it in my grandchildren, whose occasional snarky/rude comments don't get the smack or reprimand such things would have earned me back in the day. They are considered 'cute'.

    I find that nice-ness begets nice-ness 100% of the time. Even if it isn't returned in full, I walk away with the personal satisfaction of setting the example.

    It distresses me to see how angry our society has become. For the last 8 years i got to listen to the libs spout fear and loathing about the previous administration. Now, and for the forseeable future the conservatives are doing the same about this one. And all that hate and sarcasm seems to permeate - and contaminate - everything in its path.

    The internet has facilitated this spiral into meanness -- as jo, eque and I well know from our Gumbo days, the anonymity of the web is taken by some as license for behavior that they wouldn't dare engage in if their names and faces were known.

    I decided that I would try my best to 'be the change I wish to see in the world' and try to ignore the mean and embrace the good.

    I find in my travels that it is in those situations where my frustrated ire would generally be forgivable (even warranted!) that a kind word and a smile or nice gesture fits best and is most welcomed.

  7. At work we had a person that was so bad and shrewd about it, we paid her a full disability retirement to just get rid of her!!!

    Damn!!!....sorry for I get a cupcake?

  8. haha brian, damn isnt really a cuss word. but then again my mom used to think "crap" was a cuss word lol

    well that was like that lady at dad's work who was a lesbian and was trying to say that all the men in the office were sexist and homophobics and she tried to get the gay community to help out and sue but they actually ended up not helping her because she was validated at all - so she learned.

    and island, totally agree with everything you had to say.

  9. my mom slapped me across the face once because i said "oh my god."

    and once when i was giving mel and grace a bath (they were probably 5 and 3 at the time), grace looked over at mel and said, "mel you're a fuckin' sister." instinctively i stuck the soapy washcloth in her mouth (not a cupcake, brian!). poor kid she didn't even know what she did, she probably learned it from me, i'm embarassed to say.

  10. OMG, i am totally cracking up equeyaya.... "fucking sister"....

  11. haha i read that outloud to my sister too - thats hilarious.

    was it a statement, a fact or an insult? hahaha