Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Things I miss about the suburbs

1. the inability to walk all over town, driving even to run over to the store, the suburbs are saving our planet one gas tank at a time.

2. trees. i miss trees, the big tree's that fall on top of your cars and totalling them, that drip sap all over your nicely cleaned and waxed car and leaves pine needles all over the driveway and streets

3. big backyards, i wish i could mow a big lawn every week - or pay a mexican to do it. i can't believe i'm missing out on that, i really hate going over to the sculpture park that is maintained and groomed by some random person that i don't have to pay and enjoy a beautiful view every night and day.

4. political signs, the city does not have mountains of picketing signs "vote for mike carrell" i miss those mr-yuck-colored-green signs.

5. stop signs, we really don't have enough stop signs in the city.

6. backroads. i'm so sick of walking or driving somewhere in the city and taking the freeway or viaduct and letting it only take me 10 minutes, whatever happened to suburban backroads so you could take a whole hour to go see a friend.

7. being creeped out walking to my car at night, thinking someone is hiding in the bush or jumped into your car while you ran inside the house.

8. the non-existence of street lights, the city really has too many street lights, people can't hide in the shadows of the city and well thats just not fun.

9. bugs. i miss bugs. ants and rodents in my house, mosquitos and bees somehow trapped inside your house. i mean if a girl can't make friends with a mouse in her own house anymore, what is happening to this world?

10. the possibility that someone could steal your mail or your newspaper. what is with the city locking up your mail, do we not trust anyone anymore? if my drunk next door neighbour wants to steal my newspaper, i want her to have that opportunity.

geez, why on earth do I live in the city?