Saturday, October 24, 2009

Fashion-Police.

Beware. this will be my first really bitchy post, it will be superficial, a little shallow and even maybe politically incorrect.





I have a HUGE issue with people who do not dress for their body type, I havent really noticed it with guys, usually just girls and thats when its worse.





I know the shorts are cute on the model, the mannequin and even your best friend, but no one wants to see your cottage cheese thighs, and the cute guy you just tried to flirt with, probably would have loved to go out with you if it wasnt for the gross-ness going on south.





when you have really big boobs, you don't need to accentuate them and make them look even bigger. things like tube tops dont look good, cleavage and tube tops are a no. and everyone is just scared the top is going to fall down, but thats probably your thought process, so nevermind.





if you have a belly, its not the worst thing there are alot of things you can wear that can cover it up or make it less noticeable, dresses are great, flowly tops and tank tops are fine. BUT you cannot get away with wearing a really tight low cut shirt thinking all the attention will go to your boobs. we will notice the belly. and it looks gross.





i know your trying to look cute and dressed up by wearing heels. but by wearing strappy sling back heels, you know JCpenny "dress" shows that your supposed to wear to weddings. those do NOT belong with a pant suit.








and heels do NOT belong with any kind of yoga or sweat style pants or shorts. lounge wear requires lounge shoes, flip flops are stylish for this. Victoria Beckham does it, you can too.








one thing that angers me more than anything else. the muffin top. i know the jeans are super cute, they make your butt look high and rock hard, but your not comfortable with your fat hanging out over your jeans and neither are we. wear pants that fit, please and thank you.








i know you want to be "in" when it comes to fashion. skinny jeans are very popular right now, but the one thing thats great about fashion is that they are usually pretty practical when it comes to naming products. the skinny jeans are for skinny people. i can't wear them and neither should you, the skinny jeans are for no-tummy, no-hips, no-butt kind of people. but don't worry because our ass looks better in regular jeans, so show that off instead.











you don't have to be a fashion monger, police or even stylist. when you look in the mirror you shouldnt want to throw up or think "people wont notice that"so follow these few, harsh, guides and no one will know the difference. hide your insecurities, don't flaunt them.





have a terrific day.

11 comments:

  1. Kylee, are you SURE this is your FIRST bitchy post. LOL.

    Skinny jeans wearers are probably some of the worst offenders. You can be thin and still look like crap wearing them. You have to be 6 feet tall to pull them off, with legs up to your armpits.

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  2. OH yeah, and don't wear the poofy vest if you are a short wide person! Or you end up looking like Spongebob Squarepants!

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  3. haha no its not the first bitchy post, but its probably the worst on the bitchy level. hahaha.

    skinny jeans are super cute, and its hard to imagine when you see them on the mannequin that they wont look right on you - and some people dont think about their body they just think "its in fashion"

    its like the high-wasited jeans, i dont care who you are, they are disgustingly ugly and you have to be a toothpick from the hips to the wasit and many people arent but they wear them anyways because "they're in fashion"

    its not even just about long legs its about your frame in general you need to have no hips.

    but it cracks me up when i see the ghetto girl wearing them in like bright purple with the sandal heels im like omg, you are so NOT cute right now. hahaha.

    hahaha ohhhh the poofy vest. poor mrs. hippie. haha.

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  4. Mrs. Hippie, your mom, is not short and wide.

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  5. very true. but the poofy vest isnt a good fashion statement, only if you have a freezing torso and burning hot arms. hahaha.

    that joke might be internal now.

    oh i forgot to tell everyone about the cork insulation im gonig back to your blog to explain it! haha

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  6. and obviously i meant eternal. haha

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  7. I often wish that they just wouldn't even manufacture certain styles in certain sizes.

    I am clinically obese (not particularly proud of it, but that's what I am) and I would not in a million years -- even around the house -- wear stretch-anything (Lycra will never by my friend), highwaist jeans (they're uncomfortable as well as ugly - not a winning combo), midriff tops (bitch please!) or sleeveless anything. I will never have wicked jojo arms and I'm not about to share my bingo wings with the public at large.

    I go to great effort to find clothes that are fashionable and well fitting (no easy task for people like me, in spite of allegedly being in the majority).

    To be fair -- there are clothes that stick figure people have no business wearing, too. Like sleeveless tops and bathing suits. I'm not interested in skeletal displays.

    And finally...they call them TRAMP stamps for a reason. And that's the least thing wrong with that last picture you posted.

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  8. Hey - MH...I never see you round my blog...

    I'm shamelessly pandering today.

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  9. haha the only thing that sucks about the 'tramp stamp' reputation is that it is one of the few places you can put a tattoo that you can hide. my friend Fanny whose from france has a tattoo "tramp stamp" but she gets all embarrassed and offended by its "nickname" because it didnt have that conotation in france and no one has ever seen her tattoo but her husband, she wouldnt even show us! haha

    i think i tried to see your blog one time but it just gives me your profile you gotta send me the link!

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  10. Scroll down the profile -- the link's there.

    And your friend Fanny would have a time of it in the UK as well -- her name means something quite different there.

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