The Kitchen Readings

I know I have been abent from the blogosophere for quite some time now and I will get around to getting back to the other blogs in the circle as soon as finals are over.

surprsingly though, in the mist of my craze of stress and homework I always found time to read. mainly because it was my "get away" and it kept me sane. but also mainly because the book I happened to be reading was amazing. you guys have heard me post blogs "still reading..." it took me like 9 months to read that book about Howard Hughes (which i loved! but still couldnt just sit down and read it.) but this book was different.

this book is called 'The Kitchen Readings' its written by Michael Cleverly and Bob Braudis. Never heard of them? don't worry you shouldn't know them, they aren't writers and although Cleverly is an artist, they aren't famous. They were two of the best friends of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and this book is full of stories about the great HST.

its in a completely different light though. its not all about his gonzo, firearms, illegal actions, drug snorting, alcohol using lifestyle. its in there, but in a completely admirable way somehow. you're reading these stories and the underlying "facts" come out that this guy is an asshole, this guy is crazy. But the way they write about him, and the way they describe who he truly is -- you find it all funny, charming, endearing, its really quite amazing.

I'm writing this blog, because I just finished the book (it took me 2 weeks to finish this book, in the heat of finals, stress, weird sleep patterns, I finished the book. They cleverly organized the stories somewhat choronically and with purpose. the last two chapters are about hunters death, which i was completely unaware of.

I knew HST had died, but through this book I learned how recently and the moment I started crying was when I read that Hunter took his own life. the book goes back and forth between stories from Cleverly and Braudis and the very last 2 chapters talk about the last time they were with Hunter when he was alive. Braudis was with Hunter the very night before and both of them recalled Hunter being in a great mood, having fun, what they referred to as "vintage" Hunter the last time they saw him.

Hunter had a spinal replacement surgery and that took a huge toll on him and what really started all his medical pain and "problems" he went through a horrble detox when he was in the hospital from alcohol and his drugs and the physical therapy rehab after he was released was just as painful as not doing anything. Braudis recalls nights when they would sit in front of the fire and Hunter would tell him about the stresses of his life - i guess an insight of why he ended up doing what he did. I think ultimately though it was the pain (physical medical pain)

the one thing I have to say though is that as much of a Hunter fan as I have always been ever since I read "Rum Diary" I always took Hunter for someone I would want to read about, and even maybe watch in a movie, but never someone I would want to meet, I always took him for this total junkie, asshole, out of control nut (which to some credit he is) but these "untold stories" provide a completely different side to him, in that he is someone I would completely want to meet and be friends with and I would want to sit in his kitchen with him and be part of that circle (Hunters kitchen was the "headquarters" and was where they all hung out and just sat around and discussed politics and everything else)

and so when I read about his death and how his friends felt. I was actually bawling, so much I couldnt see the words on the page. I had fallen in love with this man through these stories.

Michael Cleverly had two read great passages I just had to write down and now I want to share them

"perhaps when we age and our senses become less acute, our vision and hearing dim. its so that when we finally leave this world, we won't miss it so much."

and my favorite

"people are still reading Hunter, as they have been for decades. I dont know if his books have ever gone out of print. One reason people read him is because he was very funny. he was very funny because he was very smart and because he was honest. Hunter was a 68 year old man who spoke to young people. he was a boozer and a druggie who spoke to people who never embraced booze or drugs themselves and he was a liberal who spoke to people whose political learnings were far away from his own. we all recognized that there was something in Hunter hat we could only hope to see in ourselves; an utter lack of hypocrisy. when Hunter was being brutally honest with those around him it could sometimes be unpleasant but he was just as honest about himself. he didnt sugarcoat it."

the part i bolded was the part that I felt like jumping up and saying "that's me! that's me!" I always fear that people who dont understand what it is like to read Hunter will judge me when they know hes a druggie and a boozer thinking that I commesorate with him or have something in common with him. because I dont have a single thing in common with him other than our share for politics and stories.

needless to say. I highly recommend this book. I feel like in some ways some of the stories have actually maybe changed my life. which could launch me into a whole nother' blog and this one is long enough.

Overly Sanitary vs. Saving The Planet

I am known to be one to watch television, quite a lot of television actually, and I actually quite like commercials (good ones anyways, and ones they don't play 1,000 times so they drive you crazy) and I started noticing a trend in commercials and new products on the market. well two trends actually the first being Green, of course. and the second being what I can only call "overly sanitary" from swiffer mops to dryer sheets... is it really necessary?

lets start with the big ones.

1. Swiffer Mops - Now I use a swiffer, I love it, its really clean and I have a thing to be able to see the dirt I've just removed, its like a sense of accomplishment or something - but at the same time you have to put new pads on the "mop" every time you use them. you throw them away after you're done and without research I still say with a fine amount of certainty that those pads are not either compostable or biodegradable and they end up sitting in landfills.

Alternative: Real Old fashioned mops with the yarn or sponge heads; you do need a bucket of water and some kind of soap though.

Necessity: High

2. Dryer Sheets - now is the need to "fluff" your clothes or make them smell nice really all that important? does the static bother you that much? cause I gotta tell you, I haven't been using dryer sheets for months now; my clothes still smell good from my laundry detergent, i dont find I need them "fluffed" and I've never been shocked by static.

Alternative: Don't use them. OR I have seen a new product where you stick this "thing" in your dryer (im thinking its magnetic) for about 3-4 months and it acts as a dryer sheet each time you run your dryer. i believe its made out of plastic which is normally recyclable

Necessity: low

3. Paper Towels - I am totally a hypocrite on the subject of paper towels. they are the worst thing on the planet, yet I do use them, there is a sanitary aspect there, you use your towel or sponge that you've also used to wipe up raw meat, fresh vegetables I mean it just can't be sanitary. but your killing innocent trees; couldn't we wash our towels more often and have designated sponges?

Alternative: sponges, towels, and cloth napkins

Necessity: medium

4. Floss - I thought of this one the other night as I go on about these "cleaning" products I never stopped to think outside of the box. Floss- we need/use a new piece (usually pick a strand longer than needed) every time we floss and then throw it away. now my argument is this whole "disposable" idea however I don't know what happens to floss. its relatively almost microscopic; even if wasn't biodegradable i don't know if it would have any harm on the environment but its an interesting thought, isn't it?

Alternative: rotting teeth

Necessity: HIGH

5. Toilet Paper - again, like the floss, its on the same level however this isn't about the waste this is about the creation; do we really need to kill trees so we can wipe our bums? surely there are better alternatives out there, I'm not for the idea of using a cloth and rewashing them and the idea of a bidet is just different -- but whatever the alternative is going to be is going to be different than what we are used to.

Alternative: cloths, bidets and -- not using anything.

Necessity: high

those are my ideas. the end. can you think of any others?

Stephen Hawking; How The Universe Works

So I wanted to really start a discussion about this whole thing because it was so intriguing to me. In my science class (my last Gen Ed of class! woo hoo!) we always start class by what science has been in the news and occasionally we bring up specials that come on the discovery channel and we talk about Stephen Hawking all the time (if you are unfamilar (cause before this class i didnt know who he was, now i notice him in the news ALL the time) but he's basically the Albert Einstein of our time and he's really quite famous having TV apperances and writing best selling books)

anyways, i just watched this special on the discovery channel 'into the universe with Stephen Hawking' basically about his point of view of how the universe was formed and then how its going to end. its actually quite fascinating because its breaking the rules of what some people have thought. he talks about the big bang theory (he believes in it fully) from the scientific point of view it makes complete sense, and he explains everything so brillantly (in COMPLETE lamans terms) which is always the true sign of a true genius (to be able to explain it everyone)

but the big discussion is this whole new confirmation of black holes (and there was a special right before this all about black holes so i got a little more education on it before i watched.) but basically a black hole is a completely real thing, i believe they have evidence and proof now and they are working on getting telescopes to work large enough to discover black holes and have visual proof.







a black hole is basically when a star burns out the energy starts disipiate and get smaller and smaller (but the energy stays the same so its smaller and smaller but just get more dense and then eventually creates this black hole where all this energy and gravity is pulling in EVERYTHING including light.) the theory that black hole is a portal that can transport you is just a theory and just a myth but some scientist say it could be possible, they just think it seems unlikely that if you end up in a black hole you die (although I think if there is that much energy in the center of this black hole - how would you survive?) and in the special before hawkins someone suggested that we could be living in a black hole







now I agree with him when it comes to the "creator" (i read online he doesnt talk about it much but he is truly agnostic; the i dont know religion) and people believe that God created this perfect world in this universe with a perfect sun (its just so unique that we live on a planet that has all the elements we need to live, from the perfect distance from the sun, with a sun that is big enough to burn for as long as we truly need it.) but his explanation was along the lines that there were several solar systems like this; but one solar system the sun was too close and it didnt last, another that didnt have enough hydrogen and it didnt last and ours was just the one that ended up getting everything and ended up working out.







but thats what makes me think (and he said something along the lines of life on others planets "but thats a whole nother story") there could easily be other life - but i just dont thik its life on other planets i think it other universes, in other solar systems and they are probably people just like us - not green 5 eyed things but it all just sounds like a good idea right now there is still the underlying cause "where did it all FIRSTTTTTT come from" the stars from the very beginning, everything before the big bang, where did THAT come from.







its actually still on right now and hes talking about how Mars is truly the next step (and Obama just passed some kind of bill to do more research about Mars and having life on Mars (I joked with my science class thats where we will put all the criminals (but it goes from 80 degrees to negative 120 degrees within a matter of minutes) but mars has no ozone layer to protect it from radiation and people might have to live under ground or in protective domes (basically living conditions wouldnt be great) but hes talking about ways of changing Mars to make it habitable and give it what we need.







the reason that mars is such an important research of "can we live here" is because (well in my opinion, we are running out of space due to growing population, and how we are slowly killing our planet) someday we might actually need to live there but "armageddon" is completely real - it has happened before and it will happen again but we dont know when its going to happen and theres nothing we can do to stop it, so we kind of need an evacauation plan - we need to be ready.







another issue is that the sun gets hotter and brighter by 6% every billion years and in another some billion years the earth will be -- well not the earth. (thats an adaption of what hawking said.) and the sun will get bigger and bigger and will eventually (billions of years from now) will obleteroate the earth

apparently there is a planet in another universe that is just like ours (all the same elements that provide us the ability of life) and there planet and sun is larger than ours...the problem is that its 20 light years away (with a certain theortical rocket) we could get to "lisa" (maybe its "glisa") which travels 11,000 miles a second but it would still take 320 years to get there.

the rocket that would travel to glisa's biggest problem is going to be financial - the generation now would pay for it and then never see it again (because it takes so long to get there we would all die before we knew anything) and so they say that the people going on the rocket would have to finance it but with the average light expectancy of only 75 no one would survive the whole trip they would have to bring children and reproduce large amounts along the way (which im sure would bring upon other problems im sure no one has ever 1.) gotten pregnant in space 2.) been pregnant in space and 3.) given birth in space.

its all such interesting discussion and it refreshing to hear these kind of off-the-walls suggestions and theories from the smartest man on our planet.

a not so lazy day

Pictures: I was searching through my pictures looking for something to post when I found that picture of Jo and I and I decided to do a tribute of fun pictures to my fam. they got out of intentional order but oh well.

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the first one is my Dad and I - it was new years (the year before last) and we had a murder mystery party (so thats the reason for the outfits) and it had just hit midnight which was kind of a big moment for us because it was exactly one year before that I had just been admitted to the hospital (yup new years eve) before we knew I had lupus. I like this picture because it was midnight the year before that dad was sleeping on a hospital chair while I was passed out in a hospital bed; it was a fun new years. haha.

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the next one is of my Uncle B (jojos hubby) and Oliver when he was still pretty young (this was from my birthday in July)
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the next picture pretty much sums up my sister and I - this was christmas, and i made that sweater for my dad as an ugly sweater contest for work LOL.
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the next one is my mom and I, I loveeee this picture because were both laughing and its fun, she hates it for some reason. haha.
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then Jojo and I, this was at the mandolin cafe they were having an open mic night so jojo, brian and I went when I happened to be in town one weekend and the glasses are these joke glasses my sister had from work which is why im laughing so hard.

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MENU OF MY DAY:

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Eating: an apple, (don't get excited about my healthy choice, it was only followed by a million other snacks from prednizoning)

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Drinking: A bottled water (yet again dont get excited, it was followed by 2 diet cokes.)

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Listening: I've abandonded my playlist and I'm just listening to my Ipod and shuffling through the songs I dont really like - Currently listening to Coldplay - Everythings Not Lost

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Feeling: Excited, Anxious, Relieved, Accomplished, Proud.

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New Goal: to pull a Julia/Julie but instead of cooking one recipe a day and blogging about it, i'm going to watch one movie everyday and blog about it- well i'm actually giving myself 5 movies a week (because monday and thursdays i have class from 12:30-10:00pm so i dont have time to watch any movies.) but I reactivated my netflix and upgraded to 2 movies at a time and i've already watched 2 :)

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New Stress: my global design project; everyone in the class got a different country and we are all designing a community center that serves the needs for the community we choose within the country.

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I got Pakistan and then I chose Islamabad as my location -- normally as a designer we get a program (basically a list of all the rooms.) because everyone is in a completely different country we are creating our own program and for that reason as well we are designing the building from scratch (usually we are given a building and we do a "remodel")
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So to start everything from a completely blank slate was completely overwhelming and having a country like a Pakistan it was hard to isolate and concentrate on the problems i could actually address (i was trying to save the world with this community center until my professor finally grounded me.) I finally decided to close in one major problem the country has (that I can actually address) and thats lack of healthcare and immunizations. 1/10 children in Pakistan don't live to see their 5th birthday and they are dying of ridiculous things like diarhea and other preventable things. they also have 100,000 cases of polio in Pakistan and 20,000 new cases every year so I thought it was really important to include an immunization clinic to prevent this kind of thing.

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So at this point (after hoursssss of redesigning what I already had designed I think I offically have a final program and "final" floorplans and I'm starting to feel really good about the project.

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thats my day. the end.

SoapBox it.

photo: I'm not sure of the photographer but Seattle held a competition for people to submit their favorite photos of Seattle (they had so many entries they ended up choosing ten winners and this was one of the ten.) this is personally one of my favorite because it doesn't idolize the needle which really isn't something that important to us locals, I think this photo is something that really captures the essence of Seattle, the real identity of how Seattle is an Urban city in the middle of true environment (that being Mt. Rainer in the background.)
I couldn't decide what LOST boy to choose so I avoided that all together, lol

Menu of my day

Drink: Fanta Strawberry - So yum.

Eat: Strawberries, they aren't the greatest but its hard to find really great strawberries these are mediocre.

Music: oldschool U2 "with or without you" right now

Read: still reading the really awesome Hunter S Thompson book that was gifted to me 'Curse of Lono' it has illustrators from Ralph Steadman (if your a HST fan you'll know all about him as well, they were drug buddies, pretty much, lol) its really cool though I like the book more as a collectors item than the story itself.

SoapBox: I've had my first big bum-out from Obama. (I know shocker that I would even admit to having one lol) but Nuclear Power Plants. I just think its a big mistake, I personally feel like its a step backward. If you are unfamiliar; Obama basically is giving $8 billion dollars to basically start up nuclear power plants again (which by definition is "energy harvested by nuclear reaction" that is of course non-explosive chemical reactions.)

it is technically safe for the environment (as long as their is no "mistake" "leak" -- basically an explosion.) nowadays NPP are built in overly protected buildings the walls are like 3 FEET thick and they are basically "contained" buildings so if there was a mistake or explosion (like what happened on 3 mile island in Pennsylvania) everything was completely contained in the building, the cleanup has been long and expensive but the area is still habitable where as when a "mistake" happened in Chernobyl in the 80's (a NPP that was not built in a contained building) that was a HUGE explosion and the area is currently still inhabitable because of radiation (and people are still affected by radiation poisoning)

now the idea and the reasoning is that we need to have so many possible ways of creating and harvesting energy, we are after all in an energy crisis and Nuclear Power is considered a sustainable method and safe.

HOWEVER, the waste from nuclear power is around for 10,000 YEARS, we are in an energy crisis but we are also in a waste crisis where we are trying to reduce waste and become sustainable, and here we are harvesting power that creates 10,000 years of wastes?

my objection doesn't just come from these facts, my objection comes from our alternatives. We have already discovered great ways to harvest energy from Wind Turbines, Microhydro Turbines (harvest power from moving water) Photovoltaics (solar panels) others that aren't quite as popular or effective-- (interestingly enough in the study of interior design we study a lot of this and I've taken a whole class on sustainability and we spent weeks and weeks just on energy harvesting.) So why don't we use $8 billion dollars to make these even better? more innovative? why even bother with Nuclear Power anymore? (technically I've heard the argument is that the creation of the nuclear power plant has no off-gasing as the others do, and this is speaking of the buildings and equipment themselves.)

I wasn't planning on having a blog about Nuclear Power but that's where the soapbox led so we will let it be...

My Fair Maher

from this month's issue of Vanity Fair (thanks jojo for my subscription!) I'm a fan of Maher although sometimes hes past vulgar and ridiculous, his answers are pretty clever and funny! I always respect his honesty...most of the time.


Proust Questionnaire: Bill Maher

What is your idea of perfect happiness? being in love while organizing my closet

What is your greatest fear? waking up after a sleepover at John Water's house and finding my sleeping bag isn't zipped up the same way as when I passed out. or "President Palin."

What is your great extravagance? Hope.

What is your current state of mind? cautiously pessimistic




What do you consider the most overrated virtue? sobriety

On what occasion do you lie? to advance my personal agenda.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? based on your caricature on the left: everything this was his answer in the article but the picture shown above is not the caricature from the article.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? proximity

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "its an honor just to be nominated"

When and where were you happiest? right now, here with you. let's not ruin it by talking

Which talent would you most like to have? the ability to bullshit

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my desperate need to be liked

What do you consider your greatest achievement? staying on the air

What is your most treasured possession? my freedom

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? thinking of the right thing to say - later.

What do you most value in your friends? non-disclosure

What historical figure do you most identify with? Paul Revere

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Jesus of Nazareth

What is it that you most dislike? Hypocrisy, animal cruelty, and yams.

What is your greatest regret? its a tie between muttonchop sideburns and believing Judith miller. Honorable mention: Lehman Brothers - thanks a lot, assholes.

How would you like to die? surrounded by my enemies, holding a grenade.

What is your motto? "Religion is bad, drugs are good."

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Proust Questionnaire: Modern Hippie
What is your idea of perfect happiness? success in love, work and family

What is your greatest fear? being shot and killed for a gang initiation, what a horrible way to go.

What is your great extravagance? optimism

What is your current state of mind? hopeful

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? impartiality; there is no such no thing we will always be partial to an argument we will always have a smidgen of bias

On what occasion do you lie? when the truth will only cause problems

What do you dislike most about your appearance? currently? my prednisone induced chubby cheeks.

What is the quality you most like in a man? his music selection

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "I'm not a fan of..."

When and where were you happiest? I prefer to think that time is in my future (not that I didn't have happy memories in my past I just don't like to dwell on the past, whats the point on dreaming of yesterday?)

Which talent would you most like to have? something musical; singing, playing piano or guitar

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? probably appearance related because otherwise I'm pretty happy with who I am, I know I have my negative aspects but I wouldn't want to change them.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? my education; doing running start and now getting my bachelors degree in 3 years!

What is your most treasured possession? Oliver.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? being hungry on prednisone and not being able to eat or not having anything to eat

What do you most value in your friends? honesty and humor

What historical figure do you most identify with? Obama. he may not be considered a historical figure yet (probably because hes still alive) but he is definitely already writing history books so i'm picking him.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? fiction? i don't do much with fiction i prefer real people...

What is it that you most dislike? mushrooms, olives, Obama-haters and spam email

What is your greatest regret? I honestly do not believe in regret. its another "whats the point?" ideal, you cant go back in time and change anything so you might as well spend that time fixing what you are regretting...

How would you like to die? either of lupus or of old age, just seems logical.

What is your motto? i can't think of one right now but I certainly don't share Maher's motto... :)




Share your Proust Questionnaire :)

Happy Birthday Oliver

A shrine of pictures to the one thing in my life that can always cheer me up. After a whole year from being a tiny little furball that couldnt even get down from my bed (which isnt even a foot off the ground.) to leaping and running around the house. after a bad eye infection, worms, and an embarrasing haircut he is still the best thing around. He loves me unconditionally just as much as I love him!! (with hair or not, although most of it is growing out pretty nicely now!)

Society Doesn't Ask Questions, But I Do...

picture: my cousin Josh and I as little kids.


sometimes under the influence of Ambien (before I am knocked out to sleep) I have these great Epiphany moments and sometimes I'm smart enough to write them down and I had this one saved in my phone



"society doesn't ask questions but I do and that's why I'm being haunted by things that have no answers"



I have always been someone, even as a little kid, who asked a lot of questions and didn't accept answers that didn't seem legitimately logical. As a kid, I was raised as a catholic, my parents are pretty religious underneath their exterior (they aren't religious radicals and they won't preach to you but they go to church every Sunday and they practice Christianity to its fullest extent.) as a kid I went to church every Sunday as well, I went to CCD classes and I always hated it but it wasn't because I just found it boring, its because as I got older I found I disagreed with so much of the church and what the priest was saying every Sunday. I remember as a little kid they were teaching us how to pray and they were telling us that basically you are talking to God and if you listen hard enough you will hear him respond. I remember sitting there, and "talking" to God and I told my mom "he's not answering me" and I was SO confused, I didn't get it. they said if I talked, he would answer. and of course he didn't, not in a legitimately logical way and that's when I first started realizing what religion was and what role it was going to play in my life.



I sometimes feel guilty for not have faith in religion, when I'm sick (well I'm always sick but when I'm actually in the hospital) and someone wants to pray or the priest wants to come bless me, I just can't do it because I feel guilty if the only time I pray is when I need something. Its supposed to be a give and take relationship with God not just a take and beyond that there is a part of me that thinks "what if I'm wrong? what does that mean?"



but that is where the "haunting" comes into play; religion for me is something I will never have the answers too. I can't accept religion on the basis of faith, I need concrete facts. I have always wanted and respected concrete facts and answers. Its why I love reading about dead famous people (Howard Hughes, Andy Warhol, Richard Nixon, Hunter Thompson) you get real concrete facts after people have passed away, especially Howard Hughes all the investigations they have done on him and psychological profiles and biopsies -- you would never get any of those answers when he was still alive, and most of the research of his life would never have been able to be done as well.



I suspect my fascination and need for concrete facts and answers is another reason why I love Interior Design (which in all real senses is truly Interior Architecture. - I can build a house if I want I would just have to have an architect sign off on my drawings) I love codes, I love knowing that I have to have 4" from the door jamb to the door swing. I love knowing that all standard dimensions of a door are 3' wide and that light switches are standard 6" from a door jamb. A lot of people in design hate codes and all that little stuff, I'm always the only one in my class that ever likes them - but there is just something I love about it.



but again, I am haunted. for someone who loves, needs, respects and wants concrete facts and answers I was diagnosed with a disease that has NO answers. They have no idea what lupus is, what it really does, and how it does it. They know how to treat it but they don't know how to cure it its just this big question mark and I think its just so ironic that of all people - I get it. Its a little too poetic isn't it?



society doesn't questions, but I do, and I'm haunted by it.

I wish.

my wishlist for life. for today, for tomorrow, and for everything else.
due note i am under the influence of sleeping pills that arent working so just be forewarned.

1. I wish I was one of those people who fell asleep the minute they hit the pillow, i hate, despite having a plerthera of sleeping pills to my availability i still cannot sleep but in fear of some kind of overdose I always stay strictly in obedience of the prescrption rules.

2. I wish I had a ton of money, or at least, I never had to worry about money.

3. and in that money wish, i wish i could eat out all the time, not for the sake that i dont like to cook but i always hear about these really great restaurants in seattle but i never go because i really dont have the money to go to them.

4. i wish i had great legs. of all body parts i think legs are the sexiest and i definitley dont have them, even if i tried and worked out really hard the way i'm built, i have big thick legs and i dont find them sexy in anyway. not to mention im ridiculously white (because i cant tan in the sun) and i bruise ridiculously easily on my mediciations - i look like i get beat up on the daily.

5. i wish i had perfect health.

6. i wish i had my own car again, its starting to annoy me that i dont have my car when i want it. my sister tends to have first priority, if she wants to make plans after work she can because she alreayd has the car. and then if i have things i need to do and it messes with her schedule she gives me crap - which pisses me off. its MY car. and sharing a car with her is becoming a problem for me trying to volunteer for habitat for humanity and finding a job

7. people would understand what health care reform truly means.

8. i could think of more things to list so i could end on number 10 but i cant. so tough.

goodnight.

I dont feel like blogging but I feel like story-telling.

pictures: from my Cousin Jonathan in Scotland again.

Mood: relaxed but anxious

Current Annoyance: I am somehow starting to catch a cold or get sick, its minor right now just a tickle in my throat thats making me cough a little I've had two bottles of Emegen-c already so I'm hoping I can nip it before it turns into a real cold!!

Pat on my back: I fixed my toilet all by myself!! I'll tell the story below, its actually pretty funny. I was so proud of myself though! It was broken for a whole day!

Music: Magnet - Lay Lady Lay

Television: The Office - Pearl I wish you loved this show, I feel like your missing out on good laughs and smiles

Quote of the Week: "I have always been intrigued by all things international. The Women, The Pancakes, The Man of Mystery." Michael Scott - The Office

Food: I had a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, it always sounds better than it ever really is. then I had some applesauce, with my emergen-c.

Drink: Orange Juice, and 2 bottles of Emergen-C I'm on the right path, right?!

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The Toilet Story

So were going to skip what actually happened to the toilet, I think you can figure it out! haha So anyways, I flush the toilet and the water goes EVERYWHERE. I don't mean it overflows a little and stops running I mean the toilet is litterally running, and running, and running, I immediatley grab my shower rug and everything and throw it into my bedroom and grab towels to block the water from hitting the carpet thats right by the door to my bedroom (the door to my bathroom is just a pocket door and just has a small metal strip from the laminate to the carpet)

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so I freak out, the water is litterally ankle deep in my bathroom and the dogs are trying to play in the water and I don't have time to try and punish them or get them out so, knowing NOTHING about a toilet and only knowing what i've watched on TV (quite frankly what I'm remembering from a 'Sex and the City' episode when Aidan is moving out of the apartment) I take the top of the tank off the toilet I somehow just try and grab something and I pull up on something that stops the water from running.

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I call my dad to try and figure out what to do but his toilet is apparently different than mine and he's trying to tell me to click things and pull things that dont exisit in my tank, so I take a picture on my cell phone (thank you technology) and send it to him but its too dark so he tells me how to turn the water pump itself off, which saves me and I start messing around with all the nothing that is in the tank (its really a big tank for having so little in it, now I know why people hide things in their toilet tanks!)

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So dad's advice fails even after seeing the picture I send him on my cell phone, And I spend 2 hours trying to mop up the water on the floor, using ten, YES, TEN, towels and ringing them out in the tub and reusing them to mop up more water and using a cup to scoop up water and pour it out in the tub my arms start burning from the weight and strength my hands are raw from ringing the wet towels in my hands and i'm pissed because the toilet is STILL broken.

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luckily we do have two toilets in the apartment so midway through all this when I had to use the toilet, I was still able to do so in my sisters bathroom.

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the main problem was that I didnt have a plunger, but I got disgusting and that toilet was empty of nothing but water. but the toilet still just wouldnt flush down - after this point I start looking stuff up online, I was hoping to find specs on the toilet but the toilet was from 1994 and their website didnt have anything on their older models but I did find a website that talked about using dishwashing soap and hot water - So I tried that but nothing helped.

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so I went and got a plunger today, now it would seem like no big defeat if I used the toilet and it worked right away but it took me like 45 minutes! and when I first turned the water back on the water went all over the floor again so I had to deal with that all again.

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but when the toilet actually did flush - I was so proud of myself!

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I hope I didnt disgust you with my story : )

i'm a stranger in the day

PICTURES: courtesy of my cousin Jonathan in Scotland, he recently graduated as a photographer and does really awesome photography - being in Europe usually just gives him more interesting pictures in general but it had been awhile since I had talked to him and looked at his website and found a lot of really great shots so I think my next couple posts will be photos he has taken, but i couldnt choose just one to share this time.

Listening to: Norah Jones - Turn Me On. for some reason I used to think I hated Norah Jones and I dont know why because she has really beautiful music and its really calming, its great to do homework too. (which i always need mellow music for.)

Watching: hollywood squares. (dont ask me how or why im watching TV, Listening to music AND blogging. not to mention also Facebooking.) I love the GameShowNetwork (GSN) its all the old gameshows (pyramid, regis millionarie, jeopardy) and they are totally dated but still so interesting to watch. I love millionarie when it was with regis.

Complaining: I have the worst back pains lately, I have this horrible knot in my back, my uncle (hes a physical therapist) taught me a trick to get rid of knots but its hard to do by yourself so it helped a little but not the way its supposed to. i want to see if i can get a doctors note for a massage, i dont see why i couldnt i feel like its completely valid for someone with lupus. i want a physical therapist massage anyways (not like gene juarez) i'm just hoping the insurance will pay for it, that would be sweet :)

annoyance: our ondemand has never worked with our digital cable so the cable guy came today and we ended up finding out we cant actually order anything from ondemand unless we have a landline phone - what the hell?? this makes NO sense, i've had digital cable before and always only had my cell phone. the guy didnt really seem to know why this is a "rule" i really hope it somehow has to do with communications (like the wiring) because otherwise its really stupid, people would spend so much money ordering movies and programs they are loosing out.

Eating: nothing right now but i made hamburger pie tonight that was improvised with what little food we had in our fridge it wasnt too bad, i was hungry so i ate it. haha.

drinking: good ol' h20, i feel really bad because I really believe in sustainability and green living but when it comes to water bottles i drink so much more of it if its in a disposable bottle. I have tried buying water bottles i never like them (i think it has to do with how the water comes out of the bottle.) but its bad to reuse the disposable bottles (something about the plastic...) BUT i much prefer to drink more water. I drink a minimum of 3 bottles and most days I ONLY drink water (i barely touch diet coke anymore! even at restaurants i've been good!)

okay the blog part.

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I just had the weirdest day of doing the strangest things all day. So I'm not a stranger in the night the way Franky sings about it but a Stranger in the day for acting so strange.

1. I woke up at 9am.

2. I cleaned the whole apartment before noon

3. I cooked a real breakfast (hashbrowns and eggs with my lovely cocktail of morning pills)

4. I ran out of things to do after I ate and cleaned that I started deep cleaning (not just wiping down the counters and putting away clothes, i pulled out the bleach and organic cleaner!)

5.well by this time the cable guy comes which is always really awkward to me, so i randomly decided to find things to do in my kitchen so I started cleaning our stove top (took out all the grills and soaked the little round things that catch your food that always get really dirty.)

6. for some reason we have like 4 different sets of salt and pepper shakers. I have these hula dancing ones I bought when I moved out on my own the very first time, we have these ones left over from xmas, we have these ones I stole from the dennys in vancouver and then we have what the salt and pepper comes in when you buy it from the store. so i combine all of them together and get this - I WASH AND CLEAN every single salt and pepper shaker. NO IDEA why.

7. I realized we have had the same bag 10lb bag of potatoes in our cuboard since we moved in, it had grown so many sprouts it was grossing me out so I decided to peel, and chopped ALL the potatoes, I chopped them into French Fries, Scalloped Potatoes and HashBrowns and now they are all frozen in our freezer, i'm not sure if it really works this way but I figure thats pretty much what they do when you buy frozen potatoes anyways, we will see how it ends up working out...

8. I cleaned my bathtub with bleach. while i was in it on my way out of getting out of the tub. nakey and bleach apparently scream "clean!"

9. I reorganized my tupperware, the tupperware we dont use.

10. i dusted inside my closet. there wasnt really any dust in there.

11. i didnt vacuum. I vacuum almost everyday and the one day I go cleaning crazy, I don't vacuum.

I can't believe I ended on number 11.

Things I'm Grateful For

picture: i wish i could take credit for this picture because its SO clever! I just posted it cause I think its hilarious I dont even remember where I found it, somewhere online. I think I want to do a photoshop series with ideas like this.

What I'm doing: Sitting on my bed with the dogs listening to my IPod, I have a lazy day today so I'm just relaxing

What I've done so far: I cleaned the apartment, called tech support for my computer (was on the phone for 2 hours but it was totally worth it.) and fixed my carpet that is in my bedroom. pretty productive!!

excited for: i'm going to sushi tonight with my friend Stephanie, I'm obsessed with this sushi restaurant by my house, its like 2 blocks away, super cheap during happy hour and is fabulous. I am obsessed with sushi.

drinking: water. bottled.

eating: absolutely nothing but I think thats going to change when I finish posting this blog.

listening: Peter Frampton - Baby I love Your way. what a classic. I was defintiely born in the wrong era.

thinking: wow i have really bad posture right now, my neck is killing me. i have no shifted my posture after I typed this outloud. can you type outloud? I like to think so.

happy about: i'm having like a fabulous hair day. I'm really happy about it! haha (you'll see below I talk more about this. haha)

loving: Office quotes, I now have standing jokes with my friends when we will randomly text each other quotes from the office and since we are all such big fans we know its quote and its a game where you have to send another back

some of my favorite office quotes lately:

"I have eaten so much left-over guacomle over the years, I dont even know why I make it in such large quanities"

"in the islands they dont make you do stupid things like inventory"

"fun fact. I share a birthday with Eva Longoria, so if i ever met Teri Hatcher i'll have the perfect ice breaker"

"i want people to be afraid of how much they love me"

"sometimes i start a sentence and i dont even really know where its going i just hope ill find it along the way"

Okay here we go. the blog. A list of things. superficial things.

1. technology. Its a love/hate relationship (mainly only when it fails) but it truly is an amazing thing and everything we can now do with technology is beyond amazing. I've been having trouble with my computer lately so I called the HP tech support today and they take over your computer (so they are controlling your screen its really cool) and the guy goes "You know I'm controlling your computer from India right now? Cool, Huh?" haha but he was so right.

2. hair product. I really dont normally use a lot of hair product but right now with my prednisone/steroids making my cheeks all puffy i need my hair curly and big to help balance out my face and I put some curl cream (from bumbleandbumble) in it last night after I showered, Put it in a little bun went to bed and today i'm having a fabulous hair day! I will also say in addition to hair product I love hair...what would you call it. tools? like my hair straightner.

3. vacuum cleaners. I love to vacuum, and it always disgust me when I empty the little bucket of all the grim and dust but then i think "thank god i have the vacuum to pick it up" but its why I truly DISPISE carpet. I think all carpet should rot in hell its the worst thing on our planet (dont get me started even further.)

4. student discounts. I think student discounts should be EVERYwhere, and they pretty much are and I think its completely valid. I hate AAA discounts and senior citizen discounts (totally support military though) but we are students I think computer programs and museum admissions, things that are going to help us study should totally be there for us, especially since everyone knows students are broke.

5. Email. this kind of goes under technology but its just so a great thing to know that I can email my cousins in scotland, for free, and keep in great contact. Email has connected my life more than a telephone even has. facebook is truly falling into this same category though, its a great thing as well. I keep waiting for it to die off the way Myspace and AIM did but I think facebook is here to stay (myspace and AIM were definitley an age thing so I think since facebook is truly all ages it will last)

6. online banking. technology yet again but oh what i would do without online banking. it has saved me so many times and you can transfer money through accounts with the click of a button and pay bills its so nice. and everyone says you have to keep a check register (you older generations) BUT like the time my sister had my debit card on her and ended up accdientially using it at the bar one night, she wouldnt have told me she used it because she didnt know till the next morning when i checked my account online LOL

7. the democratic party. I dont have a whole paragraph to write about the DNC but I just know I'm grateful for them, I feel like their heart (most of the time) is always in the right place and to me, sometimes, thats all that matters.

8. chapstick. I dont think I need to write a whole paragraph about this either because I think its pretty self-explanatory. I like my lips un-chapped.

9. music. yet another I dont need to explain.

10. colors. I dont know what I would do without colors, I am a very colorful person metaphorically but I also just love colors in general they are such a wonderful way to express yourself and can make the biggest differences aesthetically. its definitley a good thing I'm studying design and colors : )

Honest Love Letter Part Three

I bite my nails
I say curse words
I procrastinate
But I also plan far in advance
I pretend to be spontaneous
But I truly really like to pencil things in my planner
I stress when im running late
And I stress when im really early
I hate when I forget to bring a book
It takes me months to ever finish a book
I text, email, and facebook more than I talk on the phone
I like it this way.
I laugh at inappropriate things
And I laugh at inappropriate times
I won’t do something just because you want me to
But I probably will if you ask me nicely
I think Ray LaMontagne has a sexy voice
James Franco has a sexy face
And Jon Stewart has a sexy mind
I love my dog more than life itself
And he loves me just as much in return
I love Sudoku, FreeCell and Spider Solitaire
And one day I will finish a crossword puzzle on my own
I wish I had a MAC laptop
Microsoft sucks
I don’t think I could write a paper without Word correcting my grammar though
I can type really fast
You might be impressed
I love sneezing
I think it’s the best thing in the world
I love colors
Probably because im a colorful person
And from here on out
I’m going to just be making more colors
Here’s to the color of Kylee.

because sometimes blogging is better than stressing.

Menu of the day:

listening to: batman begins on cable, my sound isnt working on my laptop to listen to my Itunes and my IPod is in the car (which my sister has) I feel empty right now because I could really use some Ray LaMontange

I always forget how much I love Ray and then I see/hear that commercial for some insurance company where a dog is trying to find a safe place for his bone and they are playing "trouble"

drinking: water. I just flossed my teeth and i'm really weird and love cold ice water right after I brush or floss my teeth. I also actually love to floss my teeth but I havent always done as much as I needed to, my mom got me a ridiculous amount of floss so now I have it everywhere (i think I litterally have 5 little boxes in my bed alone) so I floss all the time now.

eating: I am quite proud of myself, the prednisone hasnt overcome me, I woke up around 10am (and couldnt eat till noon because of another medicine) and at noon I had a bowl of special k cereal, and a yogurt and then at like 3:00 I had a special K snack bar and thats all I've had today! I am starting to feel hungry again but my dad is making some big grand dinner tonight so i'll wait for that, I might have another special K bar

feeling: well now that i've been talking about food. i'm just hungry.

currently doing: getting ready. I actually did my hair and makeup and am quite satisfied but I am having one of those days when I feel like I own no clothes, (even between my wardrobe and my sisters) I have changed my outfit for the 5th time now, I think i'm finally good with what im wearing now, though. I'm going home this weekend and going to a party tonight (a going away party for my sisters boyfriend wisdom teeth LOL)

things on my to-do list: homework homework homework. The problem is that none of my homework has offical due dates, its all work in progress stuff. but I did finish writing my essay on Socrates' Unexamined Life, my computer actually shutdown right after I finished but thank god for autosave! I recovered the whole thing! I am quite proud of the paper though, I tied it into the loss of my cousin and his unexamined/examined life. sometimes I can surprise myself with my writing. My problem is that I write exactly how I talk and I talk fast so my puncutation and grammatical errors are not always to snuff. (especially because when I re-read it i'm reading it the way I wrote it) If an english teacher were to really grade my writings they would be bleeding with red ink. I'm big with run-on sentences - which i'm sure most of my blogging friends out there know and hate.

random facts for the day: my fingernails are plum purple and I finally tweezed my eyebrows - i couldnt find my good tweezers and the only thing worse than plucking your eyebrows is doing it with a crappy pair of tweezer. My eyebrows really arent that bad I probably could let me grow out all the way and it wouldnt look that bad, I really just shape them a little. I apparently didnt get the family eyebrows.

current pet peeve: people not taking me seriously enough. Yes, I am an art student but I'm not a total idiot. the problem is, is that I tend to be a little blonde sometimes and I laugh a lot so people usually tend to get the wrong idea about me. sometimes I'm not offended and I laugh along with whatever stupidity I just proved (like when I had a blonde moment at my doctors office and couldnt add and he responded 'its okay you're an art major' lol) but when I generally just don't know a piece of information, I'll ask (because otherwise you just became even more stupid.) and someone judges me for lack of intelligence. It truly does bug me, because I do pride myself on having an intelligence.

alright I think thats all I have to say for the random thoughts popping out of my brain tonight. do enjoy!

Superbowl Commercials I loveed.

Ford ‘Wet’ from Eddy Adams on Vimeo.

this one is the one my friend did! (in collaboration of other people obviously)

headaches and spinal taps there is a story in everything

i could probably write a book about all the things that happen during a hospital stay but i'll stick with blogging for now. i don't think there is going to be real order of how i list these experiences i'm just ramble (and then number them so it seems like i'm organized) i will tell you now i don't feel 100% better (i couldnt even finish the easy sudoku in the paper this morning!) so forgive any spelling and grammar errors. i just had to pause for like 15 seconds on whether or not i was supposed to write "there" or "their" in the previous sentence. haha.

1. spinal tap. NOT cool AT all. they now call it a "lumbar puncture" which is totally bullshit trying to trick you like that, the nurse started to explain it and i said "wha-wha-wait! is that a spinal tap?!" and i said "i've had a bone marrow biopsy, which is worse?!" and she said the bone marrow is WAY worse. well it wasnt, the spinal tap was HORRIBLE i was crying and shaking and they had to give me more novacan during the middle of the procedure (which only takes 10 minutes total or so) but you're really actually wide awake for it you just ball up in the fetal position in your hospital bed and they go to work lol

although, i did realize/find out later that when i got the bone marrow biopsy i was freaking out so bad about getting it that they first gave me a valium before and then started with two shots of novacan (sp) and this time they just did one shot of novacan and that was it.

2. MRI. so i had two cat scans this week, no big deal those arent even that awkward you just lay there. and MRI is basically a better version of a cat scan but once i got in there it was HORRIBLE i HATED it, it was 35 minutes and it sounds like a jackhammer going off the whole time! which definitley didnt help the horrible headache i had been having, and you do feel clausterphobic, in the cat scan you can actually still see outside the machine and see the room. with the MRI all you can see is a sea of white which turns into a blur and makes you feel weird like you've lost your vision. its nothing like on TV, although they do intercom to you "keep staying still, 5 more minutes" or whatever.

3. dog hair brush my mom gets into total "mom mode" whenever im sick, the last time i was sick i was dehydrated and she was trying so hard to make me drink gatorade which i did NOT want since i was so sick and had NO appetite she started making slushies and slurpies and icecream. this time she didnt get as crazy but she would help me brush my teeth in bed and get my cold wash cloths for my neck and head when i got too hott. well we were trying to make me look a little better so she started brushing my hair while i was brushing my teeth and i look over at her and shes brushing my hair with the dog brush!! of which the handle is all chewed up!! she still doesnt seem to think it was all that wrong lol

4. underwear on the same note, not planning on being in tacoma that long i didnt bring extra clothes with me so i had to start wearing my moms underwear in the hospital - which is a story in itself but then she found a pair of my old underwear that i had left at the house that she brought to the hospital but when she pulls them out they were the underwear we tied on my sisters dog as a diaper when the dog was on her period!!!! Mom still said "well they've been washed!"

i should put an exclamier now, that my mom actually does have excellent hygiene these stories just are a small exception apparently lol

5. unique giftsmy cousins came to the hospital the second day or so i was there and i see Brian walking in with this big bag but he doesnt say anything and its not wrapped so i didnt think anything of it but then all of a sudden he pulls it up and its this HUGE (really soft) blanket with tupac on it! it was hilarious, my dad pulled it up and hung it from (that thing that holds your limbs up over your bed if you were in a body cast lol) and it hung in the corner in all its glory lol i found out later that he was on Pacific Avenue and was going to get flowers and it was right next to a smoke shop, so he went in there and got the blanket instead lol

6. my grandparents (jojos parents) are always a kick, we had more stories last time (getting stuck in the elevator, getting lost in the hospital and having to get paged, going to the wrong hospital) but they did show up one day with a big box of chocolate ho-ho's, waffle chips, juice boxes, the list was endless and mostly stuff that i couldnt or didnt want to eat. the juice boxes, although they were good were really high in sugar and carbs and totally not worth it lol - it was the thought that counts though : )

7. oxycodine one night when jojo was hanging out with me while my parents and sister could go to dinner, the nurse suggested 1mg of morhphine to walk the halls (prevent blood clots) and maybe shower - it worked GREAT. i didnt feel loopy and high i just felt normal my headache was completely gone! it was amazing. i got to shower and everything, so yesterday morning i wanted to try and stop taking things intravenously i wanted pill forms of things so i could take them at home if needed so they gave me oxycodine - OMG i FREAKED out, it didnt set in for about 30 minutes but i was SO high and not in a good way, i was scared! i was sweating and having a panic attack and i was like frozen and lethargic - it was horrible! i dont know how rush limbaugh is addicted to it - he's freaking crazy! but i guess we didnt need to know he was hooked on oxycodine to know that.

8. oliver. i like to end on number 10 but i think these stories have been long enough. for anyone who was worrying, although a few complications of oliver being left alone in the house to long at my parents (a whole nother blog to explain) he is doing quite well, he is happy i'm home (and my grandma bought me a dog training book thats excellent to help overcome the seperation anxiety) my mom did take him to the groomers today as a ploy to have him babysat but he is pretty nakey he is no dust mop anymore, i'll post pictures of him soon. but it has now confirmed that he is not as chubby as everyone thought he is kind of lanky! lol

I loved, I hated, and back again.

theres so many famous people out there that I 1.) either used to hate and now love. or 2.) used to love and now hate. here's my list. make sure to share yours!

1. Angelina Jolie. I used to really not like her, I think it was first her hard appearance, she had that tough girl exotic look, and then when the whole Brad and Jen break-up happened I was definitley on team Aniston. BUT the more I watched her movies and watched her in interviews I realized I love her, she is genuinely a really good person, the work she does for charity is so humble, she doesnt do it for fame, she uses her fame to help others which many people don't do.

2. Jennifer Aniston. My the tides have changed, I still love Jennifer but it's very different now because she is in a comparison to Jolie and she doesnt do nearly as much charity work and its not that i'm against it because Angelina does it and she doesnt, I'm against it because she has a lot of money and basically keeps it for herself. I know she does charity she works with St. Judes and a lot of others, but I just know if it was me, and I had money i'd be like Angelina doing so much more for others. (Brad and Angelina were #1 on the list of celebrities who donate money to Charity)

3. Drew Barrymore. I don't really know why I didnt like Drew so much, I think it was from watching her in 'Charlies Angels' I thought she was really white trash, and well she did marry Tom Green. But I have LOVED the movies she has been in lately and shes dating Justin Long which is a big improvement, I love him! but it was mainly an article from Bazzaar that she was in and I just fell in love with her. I don't even remember what the article was really about but I remember she said this one quote "I can't imagine why we all don't want desperatley to take care of each other. We need to be passionately inspired by the fact that we can take our environment and our country back." that just spoke to me on SO many levels.

4. Beyonce. I remember a time when I did like her, I think probably when I was young and she was in Destinys Child but I really CANNOT stand her. I hate that she tries to act so humble and down to earth and then shows up in a dress that is as small as a hand towel. I'd have more respect for her if she was like Samantha from Sex and the City and admitted she loved her body and wanted to show it off. But she tries to act like shes not. I hate her music I think it sounds horrible and like noise. I don't care for her stupid dances and I think her lyrics are a joke. okay enough with that. next!

5. Jennifer Lopez. there was also another time when I really liked J-lo but the more I found out about her, I couldnt stand her. some might be tabloid crap but apparently she has this whole pride of being from the Bronx (ie: "jenny from the block") but she doesnt do anything to help the bronx, nor is she largely supportive of any charity for that matter. I just havent really liked her in interviews she seems very full of herself although I do like the movies she does, they are always fun and lighthearted (Maid in Manhattan, Wedding Planner, Monster in Law) I did hear she tips really bad at restaurants which I think is really tacky when you have money. you don't need to tip more because you have money but you should still be tipping the standards and of course you still have the right to tip vs. on quality of service. I guess possibly this "rumor" started from the reports of a horrible waitress, who knows.

6. Heidi Klum. I used to not like her because I think I thought she was a stuck up model or something but I really do love her now, seeing her in interviews and watching a few episodes of Project Runway, she's really sweet and down to earth and marrying Seal I think says a lot about her (marrying someone for who they are and not their looks)

7. David Beckham. I thought he had to have been full of himself because of the hype of his good looks and the whole coming to America to earn more money thing seemed kinda...bad. BUT I fell in love with him when I read an article on how he denied to be in certain ad's because they wanted him to pose sexy with other famous models his response was "i'm married" and in almost every ad i've seen him in with another person its been him and Victoria, which I think is very cool.

Okay I didn't want to end on 7 but I can't think of any others so...oh well!