Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My Fair Maher

from this month's issue of Vanity Fair (thanks jojo for my subscription!) I'm a fan of Maher although sometimes hes past vulgar and ridiculous, his answers are pretty clever and funny! I always respect his honesty...most of the time.


Proust Questionnaire: Bill Maher

What is your idea of perfect happiness? being in love while organizing my closet

What is your greatest fear? waking up after a sleepover at John Water's house and finding my sleeping bag isn't zipped up the same way as when I passed out. or "President Palin."

What is your great extravagance? Hope.

What is your current state of mind? cautiously pessimistic




What do you consider the most overrated virtue? sobriety

On what occasion do you lie? to advance my personal agenda.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? based on your caricature on the left: everything this was his answer in the article but the picture shown above is not the caricature from the article.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? proximity

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "its an honor just to be nominated"

When and where were you happiest? right now, here with you. let's not ruin it by talking

Which talent would you most like to have? the ability to bullshit

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my desperate need to be liked

What do you consider your greatest achievement? staying on the air

What is your most treasured possession? my freedom

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? thinking of the right thing to say - later.

What do you most value in your friends? non-disclosure

What historical figure do you most identify with? Paul Revere

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Jesus of Nazareth

What is it that you most dislike? Hypocrisy, animal cruelty, and yams.

What is your greatest regret? its a tie between muttonchop sideburns and believing Judith miller. Honorable mention: Lehman Brothers - thanks a lot, assholes.

How would you like to die? surrounded by my enemies, holding a grenade.

What is your motto? "Religion is bad, drugs are good."

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Proust Questionnaire: Modern Hippie
What is your idea of perfect happiness? success in love, work and family

What is your greatest fear? being shot and killed for a gang initiation, what a horrible way to go.

What is your great extravagance? optimism

What is your current state of mind? hopeful

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? impartiality; there is no such no thing we will always be partial to an argument we will always have a smidgen of bias

On what occasion do you lie? when the truth will only cause problems

What do you dislike most about your appearance? currently? my prednisone induced chubby cheeks.

What is the quality you most like in a man? his music selection

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "I'm not a fan of..."

When and where were you happiest? I prefer to think that time is in my future (not that I didn't have happy memories in my past I just don't like to dwell on the past, whats the point on dreaming of yesterday?)

Which talent would you most like to have? something musical; singing, playing piano or guitar

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? probably appearance related because otherwise I'm pretty happy with who I am, I know I have my negative aspects but I wouldn't want to change them.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? my education; doing running start and now getting my bachelors degree in 3 years!

What is your most treasured possession? Oliver.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? being hungry on prednisone and not being able to eat or not having anything to eat

What do you most value in your friends? honesty and humor

What historical figure do you most identify with? Obama. he may not be considered a historical figure yet (probably because hes still alive) but he is definitely already writing history books so i'm picking him.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? fiction? i don't do much with fiction i prefer real people...

What is it that you most dislike? mushrooms, olives, Obama-haters and spam email

What is your greatest regret? I honestly do not believe in regret. its another "whats the point?" ideal, you cant go back in time and change anything so you might as well spend that time fixing what you are regretting...

How would you like to die? either of lupus or of old age, just seems logical.

What is your motto? i can't think of one right now but I certainly don't share Maher's motto... :)




Share your Proust Questionnaire :)

18 comments:

  1. Do you follow him on facebook, Kylee? That's where I saw this first before I opened my new issue of VF. I know pearl can't stand him. But I think he is very smart and funny even as he pushes the envelope too far at times.

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  2. I think I just added him after I saw him on your page!

    I love him, even when hes a complete ass, mainly because I love that he doesnt conform to society and hes beyond honest which is refreshing.

    his answers on this are so clever and funny! his answer to how he wants to die cracks me up and almost every answer, i wish i thought of first haha

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  3. another fan of the Ass - lol!

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  4. I posted my own proust questionnaire on my blog last year: http://equeyaya.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/proust-questionnaire-2/

    I'd say those answers still stand up now.

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  5. Proust Questionnaire: jojo cucina cucina

    What is your idea of perfect happiness?
    Flyfishing a trout filled stream on a perfect autumn day

    What is your greatest fear?
    Being lost and most unfamiliar surroundings

    What is your great extravagance?
    Books and sometimes expensive wine

    What is your current state of mind?
    healthy

    What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Keeping your mouth shut

    On what occasion do you lie?
    When i can tell the person doesn't really want the truth.

    What do you dislike most about your appearance? currently?
    My terrible skin and super giant pores.

    What is the quality you most like in a man?
    His confidence and kindness

    Which words or phrases do you most overuse? a few things (so i've been told)
    "I told you so" (though I'm trying to work on that.)
    "Oh for GOD'S Sake!"
    "I gotta tell you...."


    When and where were you happiest?
    Last week in Sedona. (But i'm still happy just being home too.)

    Which talent would you most like to have?
    i would love to play guitar but i don't have the least bit of patience to want to learn.

    If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
    I would like to be more like the calm person that i am when I am under the influence of Xanax. (I wish Xanax was a vitamin i could take EVERY day.)

    What do you consider your greatest achievement? I haven't achieved much in a measurable way, but i do like that i will not often shy away from standing up for what i believe in, even when i know it might make me unpopular.

    What is your most treasured possession?
    I'm thinking books?

    What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
    Not knowing how to help a loved one through a tragedy.

    What do you most value in your friends?
    Honesty and a strength and ability to solve problems.

    What historical figure do you most identify with?
    hmmmm. That's a hard one. How about Norma Rae?

    Who is your favorite hero of fiction? fiction? Atticus Finch

    What is it that you most dislike? incredibly self absorbed, narcissistic people. Oh yeah, and passive aggression.

    What is your greatest regret? That i didn't someone connect with Josh or Kelly days before.

    How would you like to die? i don't think a heart attack would be a terrible way to go as long as it is quick and i drop dead straight away.

    What is your motto? Follow through on what you say you are going to do

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  6. you greatest fear cracks me up because its so true!

    i almost put "keeping your mouth shut" as an overrated virtue, but some people i prefer their mouths to be shut so its not that overrated haha

    Im the same with guitar, any instrument really, it would be so cool to know how to play but I dont ever want to try and learn haha

    Oh atticus finch is a good one - i could probably think of one if i thought really hard but even so my faovrite movies and books are all based on real people, im not big on fiction really.

    a heart attack is still paniful! even if its not that long. i think your way of dying should be laying by your pool with a book in hand lol - im not sure how you can die so peacefully, anneurism? thats pretty quick and painless haha

    I cant believe I blanked so bad and didnt do the cajun creed as my motto! of course my motto is to always do what i say im going to do. I actually will want to cancel plans or bail on something but then i think "nope i said i was gonna do it, so im going to do it" and i do. i figure even if karma doesnt play into it, my dad would kick my ass hahaha

    I was dwarfed by Mahers answers, his were a little hard to beat and out-wit.

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  7. Proust Questionnaire: Modern Hippie
    What is your idea of perfect happiness?
    Peace…life without worry.

    What is your greatest fear?
    Finding that the planning and saving I’ve done is for naught.

    What is your great extravagance?
    My hairdresser. But she’s really decent and she’s right downstairs in my office complex.
    Convenience has its price

    What is your current state of mind? Fretful. Too much going on that I can’t control or manage.

    What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Loyalty. I value candor over blind allegiance.

    On what occasion do you lie? Pretty much never. Too complicated. The truth is always easier to manage.

    What do you dislike most about your appearance? My weight.

    What is the quality you most like in a man? It’s a tie – intelligence and a sense of humor

    Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “At the end of the day…”

    When and where were you happiest? Sitting in the living room watching TV with my husband and making the exactly the same observation (about what we were watching) at the same time. Synchronicity = Bliss!

    Which talent would you most like to have? Concert Pianist.

    If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My weight…which I’m well aware I could change. Let’s not go there…

    What do you consider your greatest achievement? Gathering the cojones to exit a doomed marriage.

    What is your most treasured possession? Possessions aren’t what I most treasure. But I guess if I had to come up with one it would be my camera(s).

    What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? For me personally -- Stomach ickies. Whether mine or someone around me.

    What do you most value in your friends? Common sense.

    What historical figure do you most identify with? Elinor of Aquitane.

    Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Harry Potter

    What is it that you most dislike? Ignore – ance.
    What is your greatest regret? Sometimes I wish I’d had kids.
    How would you like to die? Suddenly, and in my sleep.

    What is your motto? God never gives me more to handle than he gives me strength to handle it.

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  8. Eque -- I didn't read responses til I'd posted my own. Then I went back to your original post to see what I answered there. Was interesting to see how close they were.

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  9. I stopped liking Maher when he went from being witty and clever to being snarky and self absorbed. The line between snark and wit is one of restraint. He's too caveman about it. I'm a fan of more subtle cleverness.

    I get the vibe from him (when I can force myself to listen...) that his comments are borne not out of candor and insight but out of "how far can I push this mutha".

    You know "look at me...aren't I just the most clever man ever!!"

    My answer: uh...no.

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  10. he is a little snarky, well not a little, hes a lot snarky. haha. and sometimes I do hate that because I think it jeopardizes his credibility (like at the very end of religious) but for the most part i do like (i like him for the fact that he pushes people just to see how far he can push him, which is exactly what he did in religious)

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  11. i get that pearl. but i still think he's funny. but i DON'T think he's sexy like jon stewart. so smart, funny, yes they are important, but there also needs to be a certain degree of self deprecation, which Bill Maher definitely lacks.

    But he still makes me laugh!

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  12. oh definitley Maher can't even compete with Jon - Jon is sexy, intelligeny yet has humility, Jon sometimes surprises you with this intelligence especially because he almost always still does it in a joking matter so your like wait, woah, that was really smart what he just said. jon is definitley clever and isnt an ass like Maher is.

    but Maher is still entertaining :) but i would never want to have his children. hahaha.

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  13. Ack!! The very idea of him procreating. Gaaaaaa!!!

    I do like Stewart though. I think that he's much smarter than Maher.

    I like Dennis Miller, too.

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  14. haha yeah I dont see him as a father figure - maybe thats the difference between Maher and Stewart (Stewart is a father)

    I do think "parents" have a quality in them that "non-parents" don't, something you learn while raising children the patience and the humilty and knowing that your not number one in the world anymore (my dad talks about this a lot, that having kids really changes you (usually for the better) -- obviously speaking of good parents LOL

    Stewart is definitley WAY smarter than Maher -- even though I think they are pretty good friends.

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  15. I never responded to your questionnaire Pearl!

    I adopt your fear of everything you've worked for (planned and saved for) is for nothing. I always though how horrible would it be if i died or something right after I graduated college - my parents spend all this money for me to go to private art school and it would litterally be for nothing! hahaha.

    i havent been to my hairdresser in so long, i need to go. in the attempt to save $70 I cancelled my last appointment and was going to let my hair grow out more but when the prednisone made my cheeks chubby i thought my hair needed to be shorter and i cut it myself, only my hair was dry and curly when i cut it so its all uneven - shes going to laugh at me when i finally go back.

    i think any musical ability, most especially with instruments would be the coolest but i know i would never have the patience to learn, let alone be great at it. maybe one day i'll take lessons for guitar or something.

    i know exactly how you feel about weight, you want to change it, you know what you need to do to change it but you dont always get there... :-/ did you see my post on one of jojos blogs about sparkpeople.com ?? its really awesome. although i dont think the calorie limit is enough while im on prednisone with the cravings haha i have yet to make it to the end of the day without exceeding my calorie intake (its always on by a small amount of calories, but it still exceeds lol)

    im surprised you wouldnt have said your kindle for your possession! everytime i log onto amazon and i see it advertising the kindle i think of you - they seem to be getting bigger and bigger!

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  16. Hey baby girl...when you gonna update your blog and get Maher's ugly mug off the top of the page??

    How about Josh Holloway or maybe Naveen Andrews?

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