Fashion-Police.

Beware. this will be my first really bitchy post, it will be superficial, a little shallow and even maybe politically incorrect.





I have a HUGE issue with people who do not dress for their body type, I havent really noticed it with guys, usually just girls and thats when its worse.





I know the shorts are cute on the model, the mannequin and even your best friend, but no one wants to see your cottage cheese thighs, and the cute guy you just tried to flirt with, probably would have loved to go out with you if it wasnt for the gross-ness going on south.





when you have really big boobs, you don't need to accentuate them and make them look even bigger. things like tube tops dont look good, cleavage and tube tops are a no. and everyone is just scared the top is going to fall down, but thats probably your thought process, so nevermind.





if you have a belly, its not the worst thing there are alot of things you can wear that can cover it up or make it less noticeable, dresses are great, flowly tops and tank tops are fine. BUT you cannot get away with wearing a really tight low cut shirt thinking all the attention will go to your boobs. we will notice the belly. and it looks gross.





i know your trying to look cute and dressed up by wearing heels. but by wearing strappy sling back heels, you know JCpenny "dress" shows that your supposed to wear to weddings. those do NOT belong with a pant suit.








and heels do NOT belong with any kind of yoga or sweat style pants or shorts. lounge wear requires lounge shoes, flip flops are stylish for this. Victoria Beckham does it, you can too.








one thing that angers me more than anything else. the muffin top. i know the jeans are super cute, they make your butt look high and rock hard, but your not comfortable with your fat hanging out over your jeans and neither are we. wear pants that fit, please and thank you.








i know you want to be "in" when it comes to fashion. skinny jeans are very popular right now, but the one thing thats great about fashion is that they are usually pretty practical when it comes to naming products. the skinny jeans are for skinny people. i can't wear them and neither should you, the skinny jeans are for no-tummy, no-hips, no-butt kind of people. but don't worry because our ass looks better in regular jeans, so show that off instead.











you don't have to be a fashion monger, police or even stylist. when you look in the mirror you shouldnt want to throw up or think "people wont notice that"so follow these few, harsh, guides and no one will know the difference. hide your insecurities, don't flaunt them.

have a terrific day.

I wish i was...

I wish i was...

1. a coffee drinker, they seem to have the funnest time at coffee shops, they really get gratification out of coffee, its sincere when they say "lets grab a cup of coffee..." coffee dates are real to them.

2. a runner, "those" people cough cough jojo cough cough again get so much graitfication out of running, they stay in great shape and the idea always seems like fun

3. someone who worked in greenpeace or the peace corps - i don't have the oppurtunity to do such things, my life is taking me elsewhere but i have a few friends doing it and it just seems so awesome to get to travel the world and make a difference while doing it, ah heaven.

4. someone who was in a real protest like the WTO riots, i would have loved to be there, as scary as it was.

5. someone who bought bread and pastries from the local bakery on a weekly basis. everytime i go into Macrina i think about this, and i do love speciality breads and pastries but i just never see myself really doing it. its probably the poor college kid thing.

6. someone who made real meals. i honestly dont eat meals i eat random meals that are really just larger snacks, even though i can cook.

7. a biker. i want to be a biker SO bad, haha, but i could never be a biker in seattle its so intense and there are so many hills. the bikers are savages.

8. someone who liked tea, tea always sounds so nice and relaxing but i honestly and literally gag when i drink tea. it cannot touch my throat. sad news.

9. someone who could throw together a cute outfit in 5 seconds. but no, it takes me hours to get a cute outfit, otherwise i just look like a bum, which is normally what my look is. haha.

10. 21. now the reason is for drinking, but not in a "i want to buy booze and get faded all the time" I get so upset when i get asked out for drinks and I can't go; work-related things where i can get to know the bosses and maybe progress my future at the company. but no, i have to admit that i'm too young and I can't haha

100 things I would rather be doing

I am at work right now, and it is SO dead, I am so bored but I'm not allowed to do anything (read, use my Ipod, I'm not even supposed to net-surf but of course I do.) so here I go. 100 things I would rather be doing than sitting at our sales desk.

1. laying in bed doing nothing
2. playing with my dog
3. walking my dog
4. running
5. lifting weights
6. laying in a sauna
7. working out
8. sitting in a lecture class
9. kayaking
10. driving somewhere far
11. standing outside in the cold rain
12. vommitting, at least my mind would be preoccupied.
13. tryign to read German Philosophy
14. drafting a floor plan by hand
15. intense algebra
16. geometry
17. trigonometry
18. trying to learn french
19. trying to learn spanish
20. trying to learn italian
21. trying to learn arabic
22. having a baby
23. arguing politics
24. reading a book about George Bush
25. listening to George Bush try and sound intelligent
26. trying to cut wood - i was never good at it
27. eating raw chicken
28. getting a cavity filled
29. drinking coffee - i hate coffee
30. answer phones in the office
31. cleaning up horse shit
32. waiting in line at the airport
33. having a physical exam
34. getting a bone marrow biopsy
35. cleaning my apartment
36. brushing my teeth
37. riding a horse - i hate horses
38. wearing a poncho
39. getting electricuted
40. doing yard work
41. trying to start a fire with no lighter/matches
42. sitting in Bob Trotters class
43. sitting in the same room as Sarah Palin
44. sitting in the same room as Paris Hilton
45. be listening to Celine Dion
46. telling a dumb tourist how to cross the street
47. arguing with a passenger about a refund
48. at a republican convention
49. hunting Osama
50. at a funeral
51. stuck in an elevator - actually this is a dream of mine
52. in an anatomy class learning about organs
53. cleaning toilets
54. talking with ghetto ebonics people - they drive me crazy
55. sleeping
56. mowing the white house lawn
57. watching a horrible movie
58. watching full house
59. watching CSI
60. watching FOX news
61. going on a tour of seattle
62. in a McDonalds playpen
63. in a pigpen full of pig poop
64. covered in bird poop
65. swimming in the dirty cold freezing ocean
66. be playing with an umbrella
67. cleaning the windows of the columbia tower
68. cleaning all the cars in my garage
69. pan handling on the street
70. shaving my legs
71. listening to barry manilow
72. watching barry manilow live
73. watching neil diamond live
74. watching a spike lee movie
75. listening to gangsters
76. be reading Hilary Clintons biography
77. be reading Bill Clintons biography
78. be reading John McCains Biography
79. be reading the dictionary
80. sorting trash
81. picking up dog poo
82. stepping in dog poo
83. playing frisbee - i hate frisbee
84. working in a restaurant
85. playing badmittion
86. playing soccer
87. playing hockey
88. watching soccer
89. watching hockey
90. watching football
91. playing football
92. blowing up balloons
93. making water balloons - i cant tie them
94. playing dodgeball
95. trying to change my tires on my car
96. change all the lightbulbs in this hotel
97. be teaching middle schoolers - anything
98. be in the middle of somewhere where kids are screaming
99. laundry
100. putting away clothes
101. putting away dishes