Obituary

so it's not a picture of me, but I'm not dead yet so it doesn't need to be. Jennifer Aniston isn't dead yet either & its not her obituary but its a great photo and i want my obituary photo to look just like this.

some people find it very weird to talk about death, even their own death let alone write a fake obituary a night that they get bored. but i know one person who would appreciate it and would find great humour in this. hopefully the day never comes but she request me to write her eulogy and I'd imagine it might be something like this.

i stole this idea from a clipping that my aunt saved about a woman's obituary i don't really remember anything about it except that it was short sentences, barely sentences and i remember the one line "she hated miracle whip" or maybe it was just mayonnaise but i think it was miracle whip, we thought it was strange but we laughed, and we remember it.

here we go;

she was 104 years old
she loved the color pink
she loved her dog snickers
she hated mushrooms, she said they were fungus
she loved onions, raw or cooked
she hated peppers
she liked black pepper
she hated lasagna & Mexican food until she was 18
she had a passion for politics
usually only democratic
actually, always only democratic
Barack Obama was her hero
she had a love for art
she was classic, at least she wanted to be
she had dreams
she accomplished almost all of them
she had a strange interest for Richard Nixon
she had a strange interest for bad people
she hated when you left the cap off the toothpaste
she loved cinnamon toothpaste
she enjoyed flossing, even though she didn't do it often
she owned to many shoes
but she would never stop buying them
she owned to many movies
but she would never stop buying them
let alone stop watching & or referring to them
she believed Jon Stewart was a God
she wanted to marry him despite their age difference
she enjoyed reading
she hated the library
she loved borders
she loved the rain, snow and even fall
the sun was a different subject
football annoyed her
Audrey Hepburn was her hero
she didn't like reality shows
she didn't like "drama" shows
she didn't follow fads
she enjoyed delicious meals
she loved Seattle
she didn't get the point of gambling
she didn't get republicans
she supported gay rights
she supported green living
she liked mail, even if it was junk
she liked driving, most of the time.
she loved music
she wished she could make her own music
her biggest pet peeve was people thinking decorators & designers were the same
she couldn't stand ignorant people
she did however like naive people, and she never understood why
she liked to support causes, she started young
she didn't like coffee
she loved the smell of coffee
she loved her family
and her goal was to die at 104 happy & healthy
she succeeded, she is now classic.