Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Future. Goals & Deadlies.

Right now I'm in a career development class. It's pretty basic we go over our resumes, business cards, interviewing skills, owning your own business etc. One of our assignments was to create 10 personal goals and 10 business goals. 20 freaking goals. thats A LOT of goals. right away I knew I would struggle with it I think only 4-5 of each list were honest, the rest were bullshit and for one very small reason.

I think Goals are bullshit. for me I have a CLEAR distinction between dreams and goals. and it is a very thick solid line. to me "traveling" is not a goal, its a dream. "owning my own home" is a goal. I think my biggest defininitional difference is reality, practicality and importance. One day I will own my own home, its practical, its real and its important. If I don't travel my life doesn't go to shit. thats the difference.

I have a problem with putting things like "marriage" and "kids" on a goal list. I have a bigger problem with "Marriage" ESPECIALLY when you put deadlines on your goal list. "I am going to be married by the time i'm 25" all that does is 3 possible things. 1.) makes you settle. 2.) sets you up for failure and 3.) probably sends you into divorce. I'm not saying you can't be married at 25 to your soulmate and live happily after BUT I think if you desire it in that way, you just might be. How do you know when you're going to fall in love? If you expect happiness comes from a companion and a soulmate and love - you're going to be unhappy when you don't have it. But no where does it ever say you have to be in love and married to be happy, and at whatever age. You can be happy doing whatever you want, with whomever you want.

this is where my animostiy towards life deadlines comes from. (in work and small tasks I love deadlines, I'm a big fan of lists and crossing things off) but when it comes to life I don't believe in deadlines. deadlines are dead. could you imagine if we knew when our lifeline deadline was? if we knew when we were going to die? just think of how different you would live your life. and don't be mistaken, you would live your life differently. you would save differently, you would plan differently, and that would alter you're entire exsistence.

When I handed in my "ten personal goals" and "ten business goals" the one remark my professor wrote was "deadlines" and i wanted to cringe. My main reason for not putting deadlines is because if you do put deadlines and you don't make that deadline you not only failed but you've given up and you will settle. it doesnt matter what the deadline is, when its a personal deadline that you have burned in your brain "by the year 2020" "by the time im 30" the day you turn 30 or the day it turns 2020 could be a very sad day.

i'm not a pessismistic person at all, I'm actually quite optimistic but I'm a someone who always looks at the big picture. My lease is up in 6 months and I have already thought of what my sister and I will split up, what my plans are. I am a natural planner and organizer of my life. (my life is quie put-together and i'm quite organized beneath my slobbiness I think I harbor from my father) I know I have these goals "out there" but to be there is no method of what I accomplish first and how soon or how long it takes.

I think deadlines are just too depressing when it comes to things like goals and life plans. my goals in life are to graduate college, work in an architectural firm in seattle, own a downtown condo and my life is not going to be any different if i do this all within two years or it takes me five years.

I have no idea where my life is going, no one does, its people who try and predict life that think they need these deadlines. when I look back on the last few years every year has been COMPLETELY different from the next. I am young, I change, my life changes, our world is changing. I would rather know I have these goals and to go with the flow of life than pressure myself into a sense of failure.


  1. ITA -- for things like life goals, deadlines are counterproductive.

    Planning is a good thing -- a great thing in its place. I'm a major planner.

    But life happens. As a wise man once said "Life is what happens while we are making other plans." Carpe diem. Be Gumby dammit. (Obscure SNL Eddy Murphy reference)

  2. i actually sort of like (and need) deadlines. I am not a procrastinator by nature, but i can be really lazy so knowing when i need to get something accomplished is a good thing for me.

    Deadlines are not sexy and fun, but they are necessary. (Who would pay their taxes without one? )

    Ahhhh goals. I really should have more of them. i cannot imagine having to come up with that many, Kylee! But your goals are good.

    I think mine right now would be to retire within 5 years maybe, with a comfortable living and i am actively working towards that.

    I don't need a lot when i quit working, but i would like to be able to go on flyfishing vacation trips. (And maybe with some Xanax get the hell out of the damn rain and cloudy season of 9 months and vacation somewhere for 2 months in a sunny place.)

    I hear you on marriage goals. For some reason it seemed like in our generation if you weren't married by the time you were 25 it was weird. There was all this pressure about having babies before 30. I think this is a slop-over from the 60's attitude was that turning 30 meant you were OLD!

    So goals about marriage at a specific year in your life make no sense. (Look at Brian and me! We didn't get married until 42 years old! LOL. You could wait until you are in your 40s!)

  3. By the way, i painted again today. (I have the day off from work.) And this time i really and truly got it right! I only had to paint one kitchen wall a paler yellow (instead of the terra cotta which was too much on that wall because of the skylight light turned it more orange-y looking.) And i painted around the outside fireplace as a lighter accent on the mantle (with the inside the darker terra cotta and i think your design school expertise would say i FINALLY got it right! )

  4. yeah in school i have been in classes were there were no deadlines and i was always cramming at the last minute and classes were there was a deadline every week and everything was paced perfectly. so for senseable things i love deadlines

    but not for LIFE things. not for long term things. especially like marriage, and kids (although I did love the point in 'away we go' when the one couple couldnt have kids and the husband said 'i dont know why we get surprised when we try to put off having kids till were 40 it makes no sense) but maybe it will help reduce the growing population LOL

    HAHA you and you're painting! are you not putting the patio top back on? hence making the color in the kitchen change?